Day 22 – Diary of a Wimpy Vagina

The Wimpy Vagina

Day 22

Read Day 14

Back at it today. I finally found my elastic band, a minor miracle, which I gave a charity stretch. It immediately split. Sewing it up seemed to be the obvious next move (I run a sewing business), followed by some sticky tape (I’m an innovator if nothing else).

By the time the elastic broke again I was close to finishing my workout, the if-you-didn’t-feel-like-your canal-was-getting-dredged-already-you-do-now move: pull it up, zip it up and squeeze. Stand, spread your legs, point those toes! followed by a half (arsed) squat. Then, thwack. What an insult.

Standing back up, following the instructor’s hand-action around her crotch, ‘zipping up’ my pelvic basket into the heavens, I finally clench my butt and tuck it under. Sort of. I skipped the elastic band bit (not sad about it), finishing all the other moves kind of fast. This workout is harder than the first two, but maybe it’s because my period has made all my moves feel kind of heavy and gross. I dunno, but doing these exercises with your period sort of sucks, if you can’t tell by my attitude problem.

Until next time.

Read Day 45