Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
Recently my boyfriend and I were fooling around when I was on the third day of my period. Right after, my vaginal opening started burning.
I’ve had sex before, but last time it didn’t burn. I don’t know what’s wrong with my vagina, and I’m really scared.
Sincerely,
Burning
Dear Burning,
Try not to be scared – this is a very common one, and almost certainly nothing’s wrong with your vagina. Burning after sex on your period, right at the vaginal opening, is usually plain old friction on skin that wasn’t quite slippery enough at the time.
The timing makes sense once you know what’s going on. During your period, your oestrogen is at its lowest point of the whole cycle, and that’s the hormone that keeps the tissue plump, stretchy and well lubricated. So around your bleed, the skin at the opening is naturally a little drier and more easily irritated than usual.1 Add in that menstrual blood isn’t lubrication, and that arousal can be patchier when you’re not feeling your most glamorous, and you’ve got the recipe for a bit of friction burn that simply didn’t happen last time, when conditions were different.
Getting properly turned on first
Think of it like eating. Sit down to a meal when you’re not remotely hungry and your mouth’s dry, nothing tastes of much and the food just sits there. Come to the table ravenous and everything waters and works and tastes amazing. Your vagina is the same: when you’re properly aroused, it lubricates, softens and opens up to make room, and things feel good. Rush in before it’s ready and there’s far more drag, which is where burning comes from.
So none of this is about anyone doing it wrong – just take longer over the warm-up, and reach for some lube whenever you fancy, period or not. A good lube and plenty of arousal make all the difference, and there’s no rule you have to be sopping wet on your own to enjoy yourself. If your boyfriend would like a few pointers, our fingering basics are a friendly read for both of you.
When to get it checked
A friction burn like this should ease off within a day or two. Give the area a rest while it’s sore, keep it to plain warm water (no soap), and it’ll settle. In our clinical work, burning after sex around your period usually comes down to the way menstrual blood shifts vaginal pH and leaves the tissue more easily irritated, rather than anything sinister.
Do see a doctor or sexual health clinic, though, if the burning hangs around, you notice unusual discharge, itch or smell, it stings when you wee, or you get any bleeding beyond your period or worsening pain. Periods can nudge the vaginal balance and occasionally tip things towards bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection, and burning specifically when you pass urine can point to a urinary tract infection – all easily tested for and treated. If you’d like help getting to the bottom of it or it keeps recurring, you’re welcome to book an appointment with us.
Most likely, though, you just need a slower start and a bit of lube. Be kind to yourself.
There’s more on whether pain and bleeding after fingering is normal.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
- Eschenbach DA, Thwin SS, Patton DL, et al. Influence of the normal menstrual cycle on vaginal tissue, discharge, and microflora. Clinical Infectious Diseases. 2000;30(6):901–907.
