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Hello Aunt Vadge,
I got a cut on the lower part of my vagina when my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was fingering me, was too rough, and her nails are long – that’s how it happened. It hurt, and after a few days of fondling and scratching it, it accidentally turned into two more cuts and a little one on the top of my clitoris.
It’s been two weeks now and it doesn’t seem to be healing. My girlfriend bought me an ointment. At first I wanted to apply some coconut or baby oil, but she wasn’t sure that would do anything.
After a bath (just water, no washing the vagina), I wipe it with aloe baby wipes, and every time I do it stings. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m sad and worried. Please, is there any help?
Sincerely,
Scratched
Hi Scratched,
First thing: stop using the baby wipes. Even the aloe, gentle-looking ones contain preservatives and fragrance that irritate broken skin and keep cuts raw – that stinging every time is the wipes telling you so. Coconut oil would have been perfectly fine, and washing with just water was exactly right.
So, the plan: keep washing with water only, stop touching or picking at it completely, and after your shower smooth on a little plain vegetable oil or a soothing, vulva-safe cuts cream so the skin doesn’t pinch and catch as it heals. I’d leave the ointment your girlfriend bought out of it for now – I can’t find its ingredients to check, and your skin will heal better with less on it, not more.
The reason a cut doesn’t heal is almost always one of two things: something keeps disturbing it (touching, scratching, irritating wipes), or the body is short of what it needs to rebuild (protein, vitamins, minerals). Yours reads like the first – you’ve been re-opening and irritating it – so once you truly leave it alone, you should see it improving within a day or two.
Then the thing that caused it in the first place: keep sharp nails and vigorous fingering well away from vulvas. They tear more easily than people realise. If your girlfriend likes long nails, a latex or non-latex glove with plenty of lube feels good and takes the risk away, or she can keep the fingers she uses on you trimmed. Our fingering basics article is written for people without vulvas who don’t realise how delicate they are – worth a read together.
Go gently, and the moment anything hurts, stop – pain means the skin is being damaged, and it’ll put you out of action for days.
If more cuts keep appearing, or it still isn’t healing once you’ve stopped irritating it, see a doctor or a sexual health clinic and explain what happened – a persistent, non-healing split sometimes has another cause worth checking, and that needs an in-person look.
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
Be gentle with yourself, and write anytime.
For soothing and healing minor cuts and tears, here’s how to deal with cuts and tears from fingering and rough sex.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
