Hey Aunt Vadge,
I am a virgin and only masturbate clitorally. I was masturbating a little harsher this couple days, and today I feel a little sore and sting down there as if I cut myself, but where I sting is a little bit closer down to my vagina.
Mind you that I never put anything inside myself and am very scared that I broke my hymen. I am on my period so I can’t figure it out.
By age 19, I would expect your hymen to be long gone. I think you being a bit rougher on yourself is the reason that you have soreness and stinging, since that is the most obvious reason – you may have nicked yourself with a fingernail. It happens all the time, but while you are turned on, it can not register as pain, because everything feels good. It’s only after that you wonder what’s happened, and how on earth it happened.
Hymens don’t tend to hang around that long in most of us, and even kids can have no hymen left – it just goes away, as it should. You should be able to tell if you have your hymen still intact by putting a finger inside yourself when you masturbate – if it goes in without impediment, you’re good to go (as in, your hymen will not disturb your sex life!).
I know some people think that they hymen is a precious symbol of virginity, but honestly it doesn’t mean anything at all, since most of us won’t even have an intact hymen when we first have sex. Hymens are nothing but trouble, so you’re definitely better off without it!
Wait until your period finishes and you are masturbating again to do the test – that way, your vagina will be lubricated and a wet finger (spit on it) will slip in easily. You will likely find that your finger glides right in. When your finger is inside, do a small circular motion, and pay attention to the vaginal opening area. Be gentle. If it hurts in any unusual way, you may have some hymen left. If you can’t get your finger in at all because it hurts, you definitely have a hymen left. Watch your fingernails!
This is also a good time to start investigating the inside of your vagina – you should know what it feels like. It can make a good addition to clitoral mastubating too, since once you are turned on, the vaginal entrance nerves become very sensitive, and because your clitoris is actually a larger structure that has legs, inside your vagina (the upper wall ‘g-spot’ is actually the other parts of your clitoris, which get an ‘erection’ when you are turned on). You can feel the way different things feel inside your body – you might orgasm even harder! Try one finger inside while you use the other hand to stimulate your clitoris.
The cervix is also known to be orgasmic for some women, which is why toys or penises can feel good when you insert them (as they can reach, whereas fingers usually can’t) – there are many hot spots inside your vagina, but where your hot spots will be is different to other women’s, so it’s useful to try everything!
And don’t worry about hurting yourself. It happens, and you’ll heal up and it’ll all be fine.