Aunt Vadge: was he too rough or was it my hymen?

Hi Aunt Vadge, 

I hope you can reply to me ASAP. This always haunts me. When I was 18\19-years-old I got fingered by a guy very aggressively and I bled. I was a virgin. I used to finger myself before he did and I never bled, but when he did, it felt good, but a little uncomfortable as well, and when he stopped I noticed blood on his fingers. When I came home, blood was on my panties as well. I don’t know if he had long nails, I just don’t understand – was it my hymen or a scratch? Will I bleed again when I have sex? I have tried looking for my hymen but I don’t understand if I’m looking at the right thing.  Please help me.

Thanks. 

Hymendepressed.
Age: 24
Country/Area: UK

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Dear Hymendepressed,

It is very likely that the guy was really rough on you, and caused bleeding. But, in saying that, you could have structures inside your vagina – or did have at that time, five years ago – that caused bleeding. Hymenal remnants can cause some issues in that regard, or vaginal septa, though this seems unlikely if you can finger yourself without issue.

The fact that you can finger yourself without bleeding means you will be completely fine! Don’t let anyone finger you roughly, though. Fingering is supposed to feel as good as when you do it, all the time.

Your hymen is probably long gone, so don’t worry. If you can fit a toy or fingers or tampons inside your vagina, it was as technique problem.

Fingering in the future is safe! Go for it.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge