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Hi there Aunt Vadge,
My boyfriend rubbed me near the opening. He didn’t penetrate me, but he probably released precum while doing it, and I think it was during my ovulation. My periods are irregular, so I’m a bit lost. I got dressed afterwards, and while sitting beside him he ejaculated – no semen in me at all, but I’m worried about the precum. His last ejaculation was days ago, and he peed several times before we did this.
Sincerely,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
There are a lot of misconceptions about precum out there. First, research has found that only some men have fertile precum, and some do not. This remains true for the lifetime of the man.
That’s why some people can happily use the withdrawal method for their whole married lives with no babies, and others try it once and get pregnant immediately. We’ve written more about precum here. You can’t tell whether your boyfriend’s precum is fertile or not.
Him having peed many times between his last ejaculation and this one is useful information, since it’s true that if he’d just ejaculated and then precum came out, his precum would likely contain some sperm from the previous ejaculation. Good thinking.
It’s also awesome that you know when you ovulate – good work, it’s such a handy thing to know about. It might be a good idea to consider birth control options, since the last thing you need is to get yourself pregnant when you don’t want to.
Unfortunately there’s no magic way to know whether the precum that touched you was live and has got you pregnant. It’s probably safe to say you’re not pregnant, but sometimes that one little sperm can get in there and it’s all over.
You’ll only know in a couple of weeks when you do a test or get your period. If you’ve ovulated, there’s typically no more than 12 to 16 days until your period, so that’s all the wait you have.
Your options if you want to act now
If you’re worried and it’s just happened, you’ve got a few options – and it’s worth acting sooner rather than later, since emergency contraception works best the earlier you take it. It mostly works by stopping or delaying ovulation, in case you haven’t already.
One option is a dedicated morning-after pill from the pharmacy: the levonorgestrel type works for up to 72 hours after, and the ulipristal type for up to 120 hours. In many countries these are available over the counter.
Another option is our morning-after pill cheat sheet, for using regular contraceptive pills as the morning-after pill – including how many to use from someone else’s pack, which is handy when you can’t get a dedicated one.
In future, having some combined oral contraceptive pills stashed is a VERY handy thing to have, for you and your friends to use as needed. Keep the cheat sheet handy, so you always know how many to take.
Write any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
