Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hi Aunt Vadge,
My boyfriend and I were fooling around a couple of weeks ago – him fingering me, me giving him a handjob. We’re thinking of doing it again tomorrow, but I have a few questions first. 1) How long should we wait between fingerings? 2) Last time it was painful, maybe because he rubbed too hard, and two days later I was bleeding, which might have been my hymen. I was fine after. Could I bleed again? 3) Should he insert his fingers? 4) Should I get him to use lotion first? 5) My period is due on the 3rd – could fingering make it late?
Sincerely, Concerned Fingeree
Dear Concerned Fingeree,
Good questions, all of them – let’s take them in order. The short version is that fingering shouldn’t hurt or draw blood, so the main thing is to go gently and with enough lubrication, and none of this needs to be on a timetable.
- How long to wait between: there’s no waiting period. If everything feels good and there’s no soreness, you can do it as often as you both like. The only reason to wait is if you’re sore or healing from a graze – then let that settle first.
- Will you bleed again? If the last bleed was a one-off from your hymen stretching or a small friction graze, it shouldn’t keep happening once he’s gentle and you’re well lubricated. Bleeding isn’t a normal part of fingering – it’s a sign to ease off and slow down. More on that in blood after fingering – is it normal?
- Should he insert his fingers? Only if it feels good to you. There’s no rule that fingers have to go inside – lots of the good stuff happens on the outside, around the clitoris. Let pleasure, not obligation, be the guide.
- Lotion? Use a proper lubricant, not hand lotion or random creams – those can irritate delicate tissue and upset your natural balance. A water-based lube is the safe, comfortable choice.
- Will fingering make your period late? No. Fingering has no effect on your cycle at all – your period is run by hormones, not by what happens at the entrance. If it’s late, that’s down to the usual things like stress, illness or normal variation, not the fingering.
If it hurt last time, the fix is more arousal first and plenty of lube, going slowly – there’s a fuller explanation in pain after fingering – is it normal? And if you ever get bleeding that’s heavy or won’t settle, or pain that keeps returning, get it checked by a doctor.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
