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Hi there Aunt Vadge,
I had sex the other day with my partner and it was a little painful. I told him, and afterwards there was blood on the toilet paper. It’s been three days and now it’s extremely painful near the opening and stings when I pee. I don’t want to say there’s a tear, but I feel like that’s what’s happened. Instead of blood, I now have a brown discharge, almost like old blood. What’s wrong? Should I go to the emergency room, or see if it heals in a week?
Sincerely,
Torn
Age 20, United States
Dear Torn,
The stinging, the spot of blood, and now a brown (old-blood) discharge most likely add up to a small tear or graze at the vaginal opening from sex that was a bit too dry or too rushed. These usually heal on their own within a few days to a week, and you don’t need the emergency room unless things are getting worse rather than better.
When to see a doctor
Get checked promptly if you have bleeding that won’t stop or soaks through a pad, severe or worsening pain, a fever, a foul-smelling discharge, or you can’t pee. If the soreness or stinging is still there after about a week, see a doctor anyway – a quick swab can rule out an infection.
While it heals
Keep the area clean and dry, wear loose cotton underwear, and pour a jug of warm water over yourself while you pee if the stinging is sharp. Give penetration a miss until you’re fully healed.
How this affects your vagina
A tear at the entrance leaves the skin raw, so urine stings as it passes over it and you may spot a little old blood as it settles. Once the skin knits back together, the stinging and discharge stop.
Doing better next time
Sex isn’t supposed to hurt – if it does, change what you’re doing or stop, because you can damage the tissue. Use plenty of lube, spend lots of time on non-penetrative play, and only move to penetration when you’re really turned on. Bodies need a bit of cajoling, and partners have to learn each other.
If you’d like some pointers, have a read of Sex 101, oral sex tips and fingering basics.
In our clinic, small tears at the vaginal opening are one of the most common things we see, and they heal well with a little rest – it’s the ones that keep coming back or won’t heal that need a closer look.
Write any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
