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Hi there Aunt Vadge,
I had sex the other day with my partner and it was a little painful. I told him, and afterwards there was blood on the toilet paper. It’s been three days and now it’s extremely painful near the opening and stings when I pee. I don’t want to say there’s a tear, but I feel like that’s what’s happened. Instead of blood, I now have a brown discharge, almost like old blood. What’s wrong? Should I go to the emergency room, or see if it heals in a week?
Sincerely,
Torn
Age 20, United States
Dear Torn,
The stinging, the spot of blood, and now a brown (old-blood) discharge most likely add up to a small tear or graze at the vaginal opening from sex that was a bit too dry or too rushed. These usually heal on their own within a few days to a week, and you don’t need the emergency room unless things are getting worse rather than better.
When to see a doctor
Get checked promptly if you have bleeding that won’t stop or soaks through a pad, severe or worsening pain, a fever, a foul-smelling discharge, or you can’t pee. If the soreness or stinging is still there after about a week, see a doctor anyway – a quick swab can rule out an infection.
While it heals
Keep the area clean and dry, wear loose cotton underwear, and pour a jug of warm water over yourself while you pee if the stinging is sharp. Give penetration a miss until you’re fully healed.
How this affects your vagina
A tear at the entrance leaves the skin raw, so urine stings as it passes over it and you may spot a little old blood as it settles. Once the skin knits back together, the stinging and discharge stop.
Doing better next time
Sex isn’t supposed to hurt – if it does, change what you’re doing or stop, because you can damage the tissue. Use plenty of lube, spend lots of time on non-penetrative play, and only move to penetration when you’re really turned on. Bodies need a bit of cajoling, and partners have to learn each other.
If you’d like some pointers, have a read of Sex 101, oral sex tips and fingering basics.
In our clinic, small tears at the vaginal opening usually heal well with a little rest – it’s the ones that keep coming back or won’t heal that we look at more closely.
Write any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
