How to make a woman feel good about her sexuality by saying nice things

It’s important to say nice things to girls to make them feel good. That’s right. We need it. We want it. It’s science!

It’s important to tell your lady lover that you appreciate them, their body and their sexuality. Positive affirmation goes a long way to reassuring us that we are liked and appreciated, even if we seem confident in other ways.

Women in particular may need to feel desired to feel really turned on (read: to trust that you actually like her and think she is beautiful), so make sure you offer these sweet affirmations to your lover regularly, no matter how serious your relationship is or isn’t.

  • Say nice (true) things
  • Be genuine
  • Be kind
  • Be sweet
  • Be sensual
  • Find things that nobody else has found that are nice – keep cliches out of your sex life

It’s biology. We’re not just compliment leeches.

Women are (often) sensitive about their bodies, and need to be told their vagina is delicious, their lips are luscious and their body is beautiful.

Don’t be fake – find something you really like, and then say it’s beautiful or tastes good or smells good. Your positive affirmations sink into her brain and soon enough, her body will respond to the input. That is, that you find her delicious and beautiful. (Read: she can trust you.)

How to learn about our biological sexual cues the fun way

Read A Billion Wicked Thoughts – it is a really brilliant research study into our sexual cues based on the internet, and if we all read it, we’d become less weird about what turns us on. It’s a great read. You’ll love it. Promise.

This particular sexual cue in heterosexual women is the irresistibility cue. That is, she needs to know that you find her utterly irresistible, and you can do that by saying nice things. It’s easier than you think!


Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.