Hi Aunt Vadge,
Is it okay to touch myself before marriage? And if so, am I able to use a glue stick? With the sticky part? Or no?
Yours,
Sticky
Age: 15
Country: Illinois
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Dear Sticky,
There are two very simple answers to your questions!
- Yes, you can masturbate any time you like, whether you are married or not.
- No, never use the sticky end of a glue stick to masturbate.
So let’s dive in here a little bit. We’ll start with what you can safely masturbate with. That’s the most important element for keeping your vagina healthy and happy.
It’s important to understand that masturbating is a part of learning about your body and what you like and don’t like sexually speaking. Plus, it’s really fun! Masturbate your whole life. (Everyone else is!)
Trying out the different household items you have available to you is completely normal, so go nuts, but also abide by some basic guidelines to keep your vagina safe.
When you’re old enough and make your own money, you can invest in a beautiful dildo or vibrator so you’ll never have to hunt around for things around home again. In the meantime, I suggest you find safer objects to put in your vagina than the gluey end of a glue stick.
There are a few issues with things with lids. And don’t worry, we’ve all tried it, but talking from experience, the area where the lid joins to the rest of the product (glue stick, deodorant bottles, highlighter pens, anything with a lid) scrapes the insides of your vagina and traps fluids – germy and sore.
You want something smooth that is the size and shape you prefer, which is why the sex toy industry does so well.
The sticky end of a glue stick – please don’t
The reason you shouldn’t masturbate with the sticky end of a glue stick is that glue is not vagina friendly and could result in an infection, irritation or some other undesirable problem. It might feel firm and soft and nice, but it’s not a good idea, so please don’t do it!
Most adult women I know have at least one dildo or vibrator, if not a full suite. Unfortunately, good sex toys cost a bit of money, so that’s probably off the menu for now, but that is ideally what you would use.
Even a cheap sex toy is better than a glue stick, on so many levels. If you have an older friend who could source something for you online, that’s an option. If not…
Guidelines for using household items for masturbating
To be clear, there are no strict rules for what you can and can’t masturbate with – you are your own person and can do whatever you like (which you will). There are, however, some guidelines for keeping your vagina safe from damage and unwanted germs.
First, make sure to properly wash anything you plan to use vaginally before putting it back into regular circulation, even if it’s yours (like the glue stick). You don’t want to touch something your mum or sister masturbated with and didn’t wash, so show the same courtesy.
There are some vegetables that you could use, but again, there are risks to that too, including bacteria – but again, we’ve all tried it, and can’t really tell you not to for any good reason.
Read about foods you can and can’t put into your vagina.
You could buy a carrot from the grocery store or pinch one from the fridge and give it a try. If you can find condoms, please do, and use one (once only then dispose of it – germs). Your local sexual health clinic may offer free condoms, or you could ask a friend for some.
Items you can find around the home to safely (and satisfactorily) masturbate with may include, for example, the smooth end of a hairbrush (don’t use anything with rough edges and don’t use the brush end!). No glass, ever.
Avoid wood that may cause a splinter, avoid any rough edges, and avoid anything that could be germy (like the end of a toilet brush – may look nice and smooth, but it’s super gross).
If you’re using household items, including vegetables (carrots, cucumber), make sure to thoroughly wash, rinse, and dry it. Avoid bananas – they break off, and if the skin is on, it hurts because of that weird end bit. (Yes, we’ve all tried that too.)
Also, try using your fingers in different ways – they work a charm!
Check out how girls masturbate for some tips if you get stuck.
Masturbating before marriage
You can masturbate any time you like, including before and during (and after!) marriage.
Masturbating is fun, it’s healthy, it’s the best! It’s how you learn to be self-sufficient and an independent woman in the world. There is no reason why being married (or not married) should affect your sense that you can masturbate if you feel like it.
You’re the boss! Your body is yours and there are no rules. You decide when you can and can’t masturbate (and have sex), and what and with whom you do it.
If you want to learn a bit more about what it means to be a ‘virgin’ and where that all came from, read our article on virginity. It’ll help you understand how our society has muddled up what old men from another time decided girls and women could and couldn’t do, including masturbating up a storm.
Do anything you want! We fully support your masturbation experiments, just be thoughtful and try not to hurt yourself.
Write anytime!
Best,
Aunt Vadge
