Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
Are there women who don’t enjoy vaginal sex? Like, it doesn’t give them orgasms. Can they totally skip vaginal sex and be just fine with oral and fingering? Is that normal?
Sincerely,
Unpenetrated
Age: 39
Country: USA
Dear Unpenetrated,
Yes, absolutely. Plenty of women don’t especially enjoy vaginal sex and are perfectly happy with oral and fingering. Everyone is a bit different and responds to sexual stimulation differently. Add in our mental and emotional preferences, and you’ve got a unique sexual snowflake on your hands.
While lots of people love penetrative sex, many women don’t orgasm that way, and have a clear preference for oral, fingers, toys, or whatever else does it for them. You’d be surprised how many women I know who are exactly like this and very happy about it. They work things out with their partners so everyone gets what they want, and everyone leaves satisfied.
It’s a negotiation – you get each other off however you both like it, as best you can. Whatever gets you off is the ‘normal’ way to do it. So explore, try things out, and go for whatever takes your fancy.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
- Shirazi T, Renfro KJ, Lloyd E, Wallen K. Women’s Experience of Orgasm During Intercourse: Question Semantics Affect Women’s Reports and Men’s Estimates of Orgasm Occurrence. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2018;47(3):605–613.
