Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
Six days ago I was having sex when a sudden pain hit, and we stopped straight away. Over the next few hours I noticed stinging and burning when I peed, and dark red and bright red blood coming from my vagina.
I tried to get an appointment with my OBGYN and they wouldn’t see me. I went to an urgent care clinic, who said I had a 2cm fissure but weren’t sure how deep it was – it may need stitches. They said it’s partly on the outside and goes inside as well, closer to my perineum.
I tried my OBGYN again and they still couldn’t fit me in. The bleeding is the same and the pain is terrible. Do I need to go to the ED for possible stitches, or just wait and see if it heals on its own?
Regards,
Torn
Dear Torn,
That sounds awful, and you don’t need to wait it out. Six days of terrible pain with ongoing bright-red bleeding, from a tear a clinician has already said might need stitches, is exactly what an emergency department is for. Go now, and ask to be seen by their on-call gynae team – emergency departments have them. Don’t keep trying to squeeze into an OBGYN clinic that keeps turning you away while you’re in this much pain and still bleeding.
Go to the ED – what says ‘now’
A small graze from sex can heal on its own with gentle care. Yours isn’t that. Get seen the same day, and go straight in if any of these are happening:
- Bleeding that keeps soaking through pads, or won’t slow down
- Pain that’s severe or getting worse rather than easing
- A wound that gapes, or that a clinician has said may need stitches – that’s you
- Fever, spreading redness, swelling or pus – signs of infection
- You can’t pass urine at all – not just stinging, but actually unable to go. That one is an emergency on its own, go straight away
- Feeling faint, dizzy or lightheaded
Once you’ve been seen
After a clinician has checked and closed or dressed the wound, it heals best kept clean, dry and protected. A plain barrier like pawpaw ointment shields the raw skin while it knits back together – our guide to healing vaginal fissures covers the aftercare. Steer clear of antibiotic ointments like Neosporin on the vulva unless a doctor specifically tells you to; neomycin is a common vulval skin sensitiser and can make things itch and burn more rather than settle.
Work out why it happened
Once you’re mended, it’s worth working out how this happened, because ordinary penis-in-vagina sex shouldn’t cause a tear like that. The usual culprits are not enough lubrication, a particular position or angle, going too hard or too fast, or an accidental slip. If you were dry, more warm-up and a good lubricant help; if it was positioning, you’ll know to adjust. If tearing keeps happening in the same spot, that’s worth a proper look, because recurrent splitting can point to a skin or tissue issue rather than bad luck.
Please don’t sit at home hoping it settles – go and get looked after. Write again once you’re sorted.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice. Severe pain, a deep tear, or bleeding that won’t stop needs same-day, in-person care.
- Padoa A, Glick Fishman N, Tsviban A, Smorgick N. Vaginal postcoital injuries requiring surgical intervention: a case series and literature review. International Journal of Impotence Research. 2021;33(1):110–117.
