Aunt Vadge: Did my boyfriend break my hymen?

Dear Aunt Vadge,

I am 16 from the USA.

My pain started a day ago. The day before, my boyfriend was fingering me and went pretty deep, then continued for a while. During fingering I started bleeding a lot, and it was a lighter color red then my period normally is.

Now afterwards, it burns to pee, is red around the vagina, & is very sore. His nails are cute fairly short, so could he of just cut me? Or is it possible my hymen tore a little? There really hasn’t been any change in pain, so I can’t really tell what it is.


Hi there Unknown,

If you haven’t put anything into your vagina before your boyfriend’s fingers went in, it’s very possible that your hymen stretched and tore a bit.

The good news here is that once your hymen is stretched and broken, it won’t happen again. If it only partially stretched it and tore it a little, there may be a small bit more to go before your hymen is out of the picture.

Bright red blood indicates fresh oxygenated blood, and if you don’t have your period, then that can be ruled out. The soreness you feel around the entrance to your vagina may well be from your hymenal flesh being stretched and torn a bit, and therefore will resolve itself in time.

You and your boyfriend should read the fingering how-to so you both know what should be going on – normally pain after fingering is a sign of poor technique, but it can also be a normal part of becoming sexually active and destroying the hymen.

Hymens are actually pretty elastic, and everyone is a bit different, so it could very well be that. Your vagina will heal up in a few days, and the bleeding will stop. If it doesn’t, you may have a more serious problem that needs to be dealt with by a practitioner in person, but from what you are saying, you seem to be having a normal response, and will be just fine. 

Read our article on healing vaginal and vulvar cuts and tears if you get stuck.

Aunt Vadge