Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
I was fingered recently (not the first time) but have been left in severe pain.
- Using a hand mirror, there are ulcers visible – one outside the outer lips (on an area with pubic hair), and the rest inside the lips on more tender flesh.
- It is itchy and burning, and particularly painful when urinating; there’s a constant burning sensation around my vagina.
- It was sore at the time, no lubrication was used, and nothing else was put inside.
- I was fingered on and off for about two hours on two nights last week.
- The ulcers appeared about three days after.
- We both touched each other’s genitals, but there’s no risk of STIs as we’re both clean.
It is not getting better; if anything, it’s getting worse. What should I do?
Yours,
Ulcerated
Dear Ulcerated,
That sounds really sore, and I want to point you somewhere useful. The detail that matters most is the timing: ulcers that show up about three days later aren’t what a fingering injury looks like. A graze or cut from friction hurts straight away and then starts healing – it doesn’t appear days afterwards. So this one really does need someone to look at it and take a swab.
When someone’s sure an injury is ‘just from fingering’ but ulcers turn up a few days later, that delay is exactly the bit that makes me want it swabbed – in my experience that timing points away from a simple graze.
Why ‘we’re both clean’ doesn’t settle it
The most common reason for genital ulcers that appear a few days after new contact is herpes (HSV), and here’s the catch a lot of people don’t know: a standard STI screen does not test for herpes unless you specifically ask for it. Most people who carry HSV have no idea, and have never had an obvious outbreak. So ‘we’re both clean’ usually means ‘neither of us has been told otherwise’, which isn’t the same as having been tested for this.
The best test here is a swab taken directly from a fresh, open ulcer, so the sooner you’re seen while they’re still active, the more useful it is. There are also non-STI causes of genital ulcers, so it’s not a foregone conclusion – but it needs a diagnosis, not a guess.
In the meantime
- Peeing is agony when urine hits open sores. Pour warm water over yourself as you go, or pee in the shower, to dilute it.
- Keep the area clean and dry, wear loose cotton underwear, and use no soap or washes on it.
- If it does turn out to be severe fingering wounds after all, our guide to healing vulval cuts and tears has more.
Please get seen promptly. Ulcers that are spreading and getting worse are a this-week job, not a next-week one.
Love,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information and not a substitute for personalised medical advice. Genital ulcers that are worsening need to be examined and swabbed in person by a doctor or sexual health clinic.
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