Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hi Aunt Vadge!
I’m 19 and a virgin. Last time, my boyfriend was fingering me a bit too hard – he didn’t go deep, but I could feel I wasn’t well lubricated. I had the same sort of mild pain I sometimes get when I masturbate, but then I went to the bathroom and found I was bleeding.
It was fresh red blood, but it didn’t bleed after that. I felt a little burn at the opening of my vagina for the rest of the day. What happened? Is it a scratch, or did my hymen tear?
Sincerely,
Scratched
USA
Hi there Scratched,
You’ve pretty much diagnosed yourself: not enough lubrication plus fingering that was a bit too firm. That combination scrapes the delicate skin at the entrance, which stings and can leave a little fresh blood – and a one-off graze like that, which stops quickly and only bothers you for a day, is nothing to worry about. It heals on its own. In our clinical work, little friction grazes like this settle quickly with nothing more than gentle care – keeping the area clean and dry and leaving it be while it heals.
It could also have been your hymen stretching a touch. If so, it may bleed lightly once or twice more and then settle – there’s much less drama to the hymen than people think, and it varies enormously from person to person. Our guide to the hymen is worth a read.
The real takeaway is that being fingered shouldn’t hurt or draw blood when it’s done well. That almost always comes down to two things: plenty of arousal and warm-up so you’re properly wet (a little lubricant helps hugely), and a gentle touch. Reading our guides to fingering, oral sex and sex generally together with your boyfriend will set you both up to enjoy it a lot more.
Getting a mirror and having a look at yourself when you’re relaxed is a nice habit too – it helps you learn what’s normal for you, so you’d notice if anything ever changed.
Do get it checked if the pattern is different from this: bleeding that keeps happening each time, a sore that doesn’t heal, pain that lingers, or any unusual discharge or smell. Any of those, see your doctor or a sexual-health clinic. But for a single little scratch that’s already healed? You’ll be absolutely fine.
Write back anytime.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
