Can't find your vaginal opening? How to find it for tampons

Author: Aunt Vadge
Qualified Naturopath | BHSc(N)

Last reviewed: July 4, 2026

Hi Aunt Vadge,

I wanted to learn how to use tampons, so I searched it up on YouTube. They all said the same thing — find your hole and put it in — but I couldn’t find a hole. So I got researching, but couldn’t find anything about my problem.

Where my vaginal opening is supposed to be (I think), there’s light pink tissue, and I can’t see a hole. So now I have questions. NO, it’s not an imperforate hymen, because I have my period.

Thanks!
Confused
Texas, USA

Hello Confused,

Straight up: you almost certainly do have a vaginal opening — the proof is that your period comes out, so there’s definitely a way through. The reason you can’t spot an obvious ‘hole’ is that the vaginal opening isn’t a round hole at all. It sits tucked between soft folds and usually looks like a closed slit until something gently parts it.

Great detective work on the hymen, by the way — you’re thinking about this exactly right. This is a really common thing to get stuck on when you’re first working out tampons. And almost always everything’s completely normal; the opening is just tucked away and really tricky to find the first few times, and plenty of people take ages to find it.

You’re in good company.

It doesn’t look like a ‘hole’ because the vagina is a soft, collapsed passage — think an empty sock rather than an empty shoe — so the walls rest together and the entrance looks like a closed slit, not an open circle; press a tampon gently against it and it opens to let the tampon in, then closes again afterwards.

That light pink tissue you can see might be your inner labia, or your hymen, a thin rim of tissue just inside the opening, and since your period gets out, any hymen you have already has a gap — it just might not be easy to see.

Diagram showing normal variations in the appearance of the hymen — _{Some of the normal ways a hymen can look. Real life is much smaller and less obvious than a diagram.}

To find your vaginal opening, take your time with clean hands; many people find it easiest sitting with a small mirror, or in the bath.

Trace gently from front to back, starting at the pubic-hair line and following down to the perineum (the small ‘bridge’ of skin between the vaginal opening and the anus) — and if you reach your anus you’ve gone a little too far (give your hands a wash).

Now gently part your inner labia: the opening sits in the dip between them, just below the urethra (the tiny opening you wee from), and it may be smaller and lower down than you expect; a little water-based lubricant or coconut oil on a clean finger can make it easier and more comfortable to feel where everything is.

If you part the labia and meet what feels like a ‘wall’ of pink, your hymen may still be covering most of the opening.

Over time a hymen like this can gently stretch on its own, and you can help it along very slowly and gently — but never force anything, and the most important rule is that if it hurts, stop, because pain is a signal to pause, not push through.

If it keeps hurting, you really can’t find the opening, or anything looks or feels not-right to you, please see a GP or gynaecologist — this is a completely normal thing to ask a doctor about, they help with it all the time, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. (Worth knowing: you don’t appear to have an imperforate hymen, since your period comes through.) There’s no rush at all, and it can help to practise just finding the opening first, without a tampon, so you get to know your own anatomy at your own pace.

Don’t worry — this takes most people a bit of time to get the hang of, and that’s completely okay.

Lots of love, and good luck with your detective work!
Aunt Vadge

This is general information based on our clinical experience, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.