Aunt Vadge: I’m worried about bleeding scratches

Dear Aunt Vadge,

Yesterday afternoon, my boyfriend fingered me for the first time. He used one finger at first and it just feel a little bit painful. When I got used to it, he tried inserting two fingers… According to him, he only inserted a little bit, and when I told him it hurt he quickly pulled out.

After that he tried inserting one finger again but it hurt too, so he stopped fingering me. When we were done, I went to the washroom but there was no sign of blood until that night. After going to the washroom, I realized there was a bit of bright red blood on the tissue paper. After that there was no sign of blood, until the second day, there’s a little bit more of blood and then it stopped again.

I’m not sure whether my hymen broke or there’s scratches inside my vagina  and I’m sort of worried. Please help.

Sincerely,
Freshly Fingered

_______

Dear Freshly Fingered,

There are a couple of important things I gleaned from your email.

The first is that if you haven’t had anything inside your vagina at all, ever, then it is very possible that your boyfriend’s fingers have stretched and torn your hymen. This would be a normal occurrence, and while a bit painful, shouldn’t happen much more (though next time there may be some left over that needs stretching).

The second is that you guys should both read the articles on how to finger a lady to get the basics down pat. Fingering can be delightful, but you need to be turned on, and know how to tell your boyfriend what you like, what feels good, and so on. To know this, you have to be fingered some more! So read the article together (or send him the link) and you will be able to move forward sexually with a bit more confidence.

Your vagina will heal, and your response to this seems completely normal. Good job asking for help. Read our article on healing vaginal and vulvar cuts and tears if you get stuck.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.