Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
Yesterday afternoon my boyfriend fingered me for the first time. He used one finger at first and it was just a little painful. When I got used to it, he tried two fingers – only a little, he says – and when I told him it hurt he pulled out quickly. He tried one finger again, but that hurt too, so he stopped. There was no blood until that night, when I saw a bit of bright red on the tissue. It stopped, then the next day there was a little more, and then it stopped again.
I’m not sure whether my hymen broke or there are scratches inside, and I’m a bit worried. Please help.
Sincerely,
Freshly Fingered
Dear Freshly Fingered,
From everything you describe, this is almost certainly nothing to worry about. If that was the first time anything had been inside your vagina, your hymen – the soft, stretchy rim at the opening – has most likely been stretched and nicked a little. That’s completely normal, and it’s where the bright red blood came from. A small amount that appears, stops, and comes back a touch the next day fits a minor graze settling down, not a serious injury. Have a read of our hymen article so you can see what it actually is.
It hurt because two fingers was a bit much, a bit soon. The vagina only relaxes and opens when you’re properly turned on and comfortable – when you’re tense or not aroused enough, it stays tight and things feel sore. That’s useful feedback from your body, not a sign anything is wrong. Your boyfriend did the right thing stopping the moment you said it hurt.
For next time: slower, one finger, plenty of build-up first, and only when you actually feel ready. There’s no rush at all, and you can stop at any point. Reading fingering basics together (or sending him the link) will help him keep it gentle.
To heal right now, just leave it alone for a few days and wash with warm water only, no soap – vulval skin mends fast. Our guide to healing cuts and tears has more if you need it.
When to get seen (rare, but so you know): if the bleeding gets heavier rather than lighter, doesn’t stop, there’s a lot of pain, or you can’t pee – see a doctor or a sexual health clinic, who will keep it private.
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
You did exactly the right thing asking. Write anytime.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
