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Aunt Vadge, please help me, I’m extremely worried.
Yesterday I was fingering myself (with just one finger, I’m a virgin and this was the fourth time I did it) and I was completely wet, it wasn’t hurting or anything like the first few times I did it, and my nails weren’t long.
Once I stopped I looked at my finger and it had blood on it, also my pants did too, and it wasn’t very vivid red but a bit dark.
I put on a pad as my period was supposed to start around this time anyway. Then I went researching and I’m kind of scared I broke my hymen or hurt myself.
Usually I don’t get cramps before my period, but on the second day I did, and usually the blood isn’t too much on the first day, but on the second it was.
Did I get my period, or did I cut myself or break my hymen?
Ps: it’s still bleeding, more than yesterday, which wouldn’t make much sense if I ripped something.
Yours,
Bloody Mess
Dear Bloody Mess,
This reads far more like your period arriving than anything you’ve done to yourself. You said it was due around now, the blood was darkish rather than bright, and it’s built up over a couple of days with cramps on day two. That’s how a period behaves. A little nick or a stretched hymen tends to be bright red, small and over quickly – it doesn’t get heavier day by day.
On the hymen itself: it isn’t a seal that ‘breaks’, and it’s not a virginity meter. It’s a soft, stretchy rim around the vaginal opening, and gentle fingering with short nails usually just stretches it rather than tearing anything. If you had actually hurt yourself you would know – there would be a sore, stinging spot you could feel, not just blood. No pain beyond ordinary cramps means you’re almost certainly fine.
You clearly pay attention to your body, which is exactly the right instinct. Periods shift around a bit from month to month – length, flow, cramps, PMS – depending on things like stress, travel, sleep, even whether you’ve been constipated (backed-up bowels clear oestrogen less efficiently, which can nudge your symptoms up). One slightly different cycle is rarely anything to worry about.
If you’d like to get to know your own normal, a period-tracking app is handy – jot down your flow and symptoms and your patterns start to show themselves.
When would I actually get it checked? If blood soaks a pad every hour, the bleeding hasn’t settled after a week, there’s severe pain, or you ever feel faint or dizzy – see a doctor. You can go on your own if you’d rather; they see this constantly and keep it private.
If you want the full picture, have a read of the hymenal ring, remnants and tags and what to expect from your period.
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
Write anytime.
There’s more on whether pain and bleeding after fingering is normal.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
