Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
I’m very worried. I’ve written to you twice before and you’ve been so helpful. A while back I asked about a problem on my vulva – a spot on the lip that was purple and looked like a pimple. You sent me steps to get rid of it, but I couldn’t find a hair in it, and it wasn’t like the ingrown hairs I’ve had before. It kept bleeding, then closing over. When I saw a doctor about something else, he looked at it and said it was a type of bite, and gave me an antibiotic. It turned into a flat mark that feels like a stretch mark and is the colour of a bruise. It isn’t sore now, just flat, and it’s been like that ever since. I want it gone because I have a boyfriend and don’t want him seeing it. Whenever I shave I still get razor burn, and if I try to pop the bumps they have yellow pus and bleed.
But I have another worry. Lately I’ve been getting lumps near my vulva, on the lips, and when I looked it up they sound like an abscess. They’re very sore, on the left side in the groin/lip area, and there are two, and they’re quite big. My mom isn’t the best person to talk to about this. Please help – I’m scared I have hidradenitis. I don’t think I could have an STI: my boyfriend and I have only been together a few weeks and haven’t done anything down there, and my previous boyfriend, who fingered me, didn’t have anything. Is this urgent? Please help!
Yours,
Worried, Cape Town, South Africa
Dear Worried,
Thanks for writing again, and I’m glad you did. First, take a breath – you’re not in trouble, and none of this is your fault. Let me answer your actual questions.
The two big sore lumps – yes, get these seen
Two lumps that are big, sore and getting worse are the part I want you to act on. They could be a couple of things – blocked, infected hair follicles, or a Bartholin’s gland cyst or abscess (a gland near the vaginal opening that can block and swell) – and when a lump is genuinely painful and swelling, it usually needs someone to actually look at it and, sometimes, drain it properly. That’s a quick job for a clinician and a big relief for you.
Please don’t squeeze, pop or cut them yourself. Squeezing an infected lump can push the infection deeper and make it worse. This is one of those times when hands-off at home plus a proper look is the safe combination.
You can do this without your mum
Since your mum isn’t someone you can talk to about this, you don’t have to. You’re allowed to go to a clinic on your own. In South Africa, your local public clinic or a community health centre will see you for free or very cheaply, and what you tell them is confidential. You can simply say you have two sore, swollen lumps near your groin that you’d like looked at – you don’t have to explain anything else. A women’s health or family planning clinic is a good, low-key option too.
Go sooner rather than later if a lump gets more red and hot, more painful, or if you feel feverish or unwell – that means it wants attention now.
The ‘hidradenitis’ worry
You’ve done some smart reading. Hidradenitis suppurativa is a condition where hair-follicle glands in areas like the groin and armpits get blocked and inflamed and form recurring painful lumps. Some of what you describe – recurring pus-y bumps, razor burn that flares – could fit, but it could equally be ordinary blocked follicles or folliculitis. Only someone examining you can tell, so please don’t diagnose yourself into a panic. Whatever it turns out to be, it’s manageable.
One thing you can do at home in the meantime that genuinely helps this kind of lump: a warm compress. Hold a clean, warm, damp cloth against the sore area for 10–15 minutes a few times a day. It eases the pain and can help a lump settle or come to a head so it drains on its own.
Shaving and the razor burn
Your skin is clearly reacting to shaving, so give it a proper break for a few weeks and see if the bumps calm down. If you go back to it, shave with the hair, not against it, use a fresh blade and plenty of glide, and don’t shave over any lump. Popping bumps tends to scar and spread things, so leave them be.
The old flat mark
The flat, bruise-coloured mark that doesn’t hurt is almost certainly a healed scar from that earlier spot, and scars often fade a lot over time. It’s the sort of thing that fades more if you leave it alone than if you fuss at it. Honestly, a partner who cares about you isn’t going to be put off by a small mark – but if it bothers you, you can ask the clinician about it while you’re there for the lumps.
The STI worry
From what you describe, this doesn’t sound like an STI, and your risk sounds low. Painful lumps that come and go in the groin are much more likely to be follicle or gland problems than an infection passed on by a partner. If it would settle your mind, a clinic can test you and tell you for certain – there’s no shame in asking, and it’s a normal thing to check.
So: warm compresses at home, hands off the lumps, and get those two sore ones looked at by a clinic on your own terms. Write back and tell me how you get on.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice. Painful, swelling lumps should be assessed in person, and urgently if you develop fever or spreading redness.
