Hey Aunt Vadge,
Whenever I get fingered and my boyfriend massages my clit, my legs shake uncontrollably. Why does this happen, and how can I make it stop?
Regards
Shakey
South Africa, Age 16
___________
Hi there Shakey,
Thanks for your email. This is a nervous system connection, and actually it is quite common, though yours might be more severe than most. Our nerves intersect and conjoin at various points, and the reason it happens in some people more than others is part of the great unknowable – unless you did an autopsy and really examined your nerve connections in detail, we couldn’t know for sure.
If you look at the image attached, you will see how rich the nerve supply is to your clitoris and vagina, and how it loops around your hips. This means the problem is one that is probably built into you, but you can try to help it by desensitising the nerve and possibly looking at other elements of your body that contribute to your nerves – nutrition, etc.
So the way it works is thus:
A nerve is most sensitive when it is not being stimulated because it has to be ‘on’ in case something happens that it needs to respond to. Then, it goes through a flurry of excitement when it is stimulated, then after a while, the stimulation – particularly if it is repetitive – stops having the same effect. This is why your sensations change, so for example why after being touched in the same spot for a long period of time repetitively, the skin becomes either dulled to the sensation or you experience discomfort. Like being rubbed on your arm over and over. It just changes the way the nerves respond, and they respond less over time with the same stimulation. Firm pressure dulls it faster, as light pressure excites the nerve.
This means you can ‘over-touch’ with firm pressure the nerves to desensitise them a bit before or during clitoral stimulation, by putting firm pressure on the clitoris. You will need to experiment with this, since this is a response that your particular body is having – it could be for a lot of reasons, but it could just be the way your body is built. There is a good chance as your body grows further (you keep growing until about age 25), you will ‘grow out of it’, as your nerves mature and your legs lengthen to their full stretch.
It could also be nervous system sensitivity, so make sure you are getting enough protein in your diet (meat, legumes) and B-vitamins (and zinc and magnesium too) to ensure proper nerve function, and eat lots of good food – vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, legumes, and avoid food that doesn’t really have much of these nutrients in them. If you are not eating enough of the vitamins you need to function at minimum – which most 16-year-old girls are not! – you can end up with nerve ‘tickles’, which also fit in neatly with other problems like anxiety, depression and irritability, restless legs, insomnia. Food can really help by providing your body with everything it needs to not be oversensitive.
Food is a really big topic, and without knowing more about your diet and eating patterns, I can’t really make any specific recommendations, but take a look at the rest of your body and examine any niggling problems you may be having that you are just used to or seem normal and make a list. That could include your feelings, repetitive or a lot of negative thoughts, skin problems, energy fluctuations, allergies that flare up too often, and bowel movements that aren’t quite right, and so on.
You can control what your body does most of the time by making sure it has everything it needs to support itself properly and defend itself from other problems, so looking at the other symptoms you have may point us in a different direction.
Teenage girls are famous for being poor eaters (dieting, overeating, eating disorders, etc.) because you still haven’t transitioned from eating like a kid (who can eat what they want and enjoy it all) to what you eat having significant impacts on your body – weight, skin, periods, etc. Nobody actually teaches us how to do that transition very well, but it’s something you need to put a bit of focus on so you can avoid a lot of crappy problems appearing in your late teens or early 20s.
I’m not suggesting actually that your clitoris and leg shaking is because you are not eating properly, though, I’m just suggesting that it might not be forever! You might be able to do something about it. This stuff is usually a bit more indirect than you would imagine.
But, it’s a great road to investigate, so write back and tell us more if you want to, or start doing some experiments!
Write anytime.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
Specially formulated probiotic for vaginal application to promote a healthy vaginal microbiome.
Unique, comprehensive BV, AV and 'mystery bad vag' treatment guide, one-of-a-kind system, with effective, innovative treatments.
