Aunt Vadge: my boyfriend stabbed me with his penis – how is that possible?

Hi Aunt Vadge!

So a few days ago, Saturday actually, me and my boyfriend we were having sex, and he drew back too far and did a hit n miss, and stabbed me with his penis on the inner lip portion of my vagina, where the crease would be.

Here we are Thursday and it kinda hurts.

There’s no blood and never was, but there’s a pretty good cut/split where he got me. This morning I’ve started to apply neosporin [antibiotic ointment].

  1. Is there anything else to do?
  2. How could a penis cut me?
  3. Or was it just from rough sex?
  4. And will it heal?

I’m scared hahaha!

Sincerely,
Scared

Dear Scared,

It will definitely heal. You probably don’t even need to put antibiotic cream on it, but keep it clean with just warm water in the shower, try not to touch it, and don’t use your vagina for anything besides usual stuff between now and then.

That means no masturbating, no sex, no fingering, no dry humping. Be careful with use of antibiotic cream around your vagina, because you may be inadvertently killing good bacteria that actually keep you safe. You can be the judge of whether a wound needs extra care, but just as a note of caution. Not everything needs ointment on it to be ok.

Check out the vaginal fissures page for more information on healing your cuts and tears.

A penis can cut you if it pushes into your skin hard enough and causes sudden drag in a direction your flesh was not designed to go in. It could rip your skin a little bit, or rip one of the tiny little joins in the labia or entrance to your vagina and anywhere in between. The vulva is pretty delicate if you pull it the wrong way. It is put together in such a way that it works very well when sex is done ‘properly’ – wet enough, horny enough, open enough, right angle, etc. – but things can easily slip the wrong way. Sex injuries are very common, not just for women though I suspect we bear the brunt of them! Men can really hurt their penises too.

A penis itself is obviously a fleshy organ, so it doesn’t have any sharp edges that can cut you, but penises are pretty hard and they have the force of a man behind them. Men are often bigger, stronger, taller, and generally more dense (bones, muscle) than women, even if we look the same approximate size. That’s a lot of force behind a hard penis. That’s how you get cut by a penis. It could also have been from rough sex, but the same principle applies.

An enthusiastic and horny guy with his cock in your vag isn’t always aware of what is happening on the other side of it, so this is probably a good lesson in anatomy for you both, and a great opportunity to talk about things that don’t work so well so you can avoid sex injuries in future. Or at least try to – sex injuries seem to happen to all ages, because we get all carried away and then… oops!

You will be fine.

Warmest regards
Aunt Vadge

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.
Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

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