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Dear Aunt Vadge,
When I come on my period I tend to wipe too hard. I just can’t handle having it on me – it kind of gives me the jeeb. My vulva gets a bit raw and it hurts a little. It’s happened before, but this time is different: I have two cuts, one on each side, and it’s very swollen, sort of a swollen little knot. It’s painful to sit on, and painful when I pee. Leaning forward helps a bit, and I’m holding my pee right now because I don’t want to go. I wanted to wait a day or two and see if it goes down, but it hurts.
I’m on my period using a tampon, and a couple of times when I put it in, it rubbed against the sore spot. I’ve used pads too, but sitting in the blood irritates it. Can you help?
Sincerely,
Creeped
Hi there Creeped,
First off, feeling grossed out by period blood is really common – loads of people feel exactly the same, and there’s nothing wrong with you for it. The good part is that the soreness and cuts you’ve got are from the over-wiping, so once we sort out a gentler routine, your skin will heal up in a few days. But one thing first, because it matters: if you ever find you truly can’t pass urine at all – not just that it stings, but you actually can’t go – that’s an emergency, and you need to be seen the same day. So please don’t keep holding it in.
Weeing when it stings
Holding your pee makes things worse, not better, and a very full bladder is its own kind of pain. The trick is to pour a cup of warm water over yourself while you wee – it dilutes the urine so it doesn’t sting the raw skin nearly as much. Weeing in the shower works too. Go when you need to go.
Healing the cuts
Wash with warm water only – no soap, no wipes – and gently pat dry rather than rubbing. A plain barrier like pawpaw ointment protects the raw skin while it knits back together. The cuts should settle within a few days once your period is over and the over-wiping stops. Our guide to healing small vulval cuts has more.
How to get through your period without wiping yourself raw
The whole aim here is that you barely have to see or touch the blood at all, so there’s no reason to wipe and wipe. Here’s the routine:
- Put an appropriately-sized tampon in as soon as your period starts, and change it before it overflows – that way there’s nothing to wipe away.
- If you do leak, don’t scrub at it. Have a quick bottom-only shower, or gently rinse with a warm, wet, soft facecloth, with a fresh tampon in.
- Warm water only. No baby wipes, face wipes or wet wipes – they have ingredients that sting sore skin.
- Don’t pull out a dry tampon – it drags on the skin. Carry a couple of different sizes so you always have the right one.
- Track your period on a free app so it never catches you out. Most cycles are heavy for the first day or two, then taper off, so you’ll soon know what to expect.
Pads are fine too if you prefer them at night or at certain times – just manage it however suits you, and go easy on the wiping whatever you use.
When to get it checked
See a doctor or nurse if:
- You can’t pass urine at all – same-day, straight away.
- The swollen knot gets bigger, very red, hot, or leaks pus – that can mean infection.
- You get a fever.
- The cuts haven’t healed after about a week, or they keep coming back each period.
You’ve got this – a gentler routine and your skin will be fine. Write again any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice. If you can’t pass urine at all, or the swelling gets worse, see a doctor the same day.
