Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hi Aunt Vadge,
My fiancé went out one night and ended up at a hot tub with one of my good friends and her husband. Four days later she had a UTI; two weeks later still a UTI; then it became a yeast infection. The week after, the story became “I masturbated too hard in the bathtub and ripped my clit.” I’m not stupid – I think she’s been cheating, and the “ripped my vulva” line was the last straw. Is it even possible to tear your vagina lip in the bathtub while masturbating?
Sincerely,
Worried
Hi there Worried,
I can hear how much pain you’re in, and I’m sorry – this is clearly tearing you up. I’ll answer the medical question plainly, but I want to be upfront that I can’t tell you whether your fiancé cheated. Only the people involved know that, and you understand your own situation far better than I ever could from here.
To the physical question: yes, it is entirely possible to graze or tear the delicate skin of the vulva or clitoral hood from vigorous masturbation, with or without water. Over-enthusiastic friction – especially when dry, against a hard surface, or under a strong bath jet – can nick that skin. UTIs and yeast infections can also follow all sorts of ordinary things, from sex to hot tubs to plain bad luck, so none of those on their own prove anything either way.
So the medical claim isn’t impossible. But “is it possible?” and “is it what actually happened?” are different questions, and the second one isn’t something a website can settle for you. What I can say is that the story isn’t medically absurd – which, unfortunately, doesn’t resolve the trust question underneath it.
And that part – the cheating, the gut feeling, the friendship – is really about your relationship, not your friend’s vulva. If your instinct is this loud, you owe it to yourself to have a direct, honest conversation with your fiancé about what happened that night and how you feel, rather than trying to reverse-engineer the truth from a medical detail. A counsellor, alone or together, can help if those conversations feel impossible.
Be kind to yourself through it. You have every right to ask questions and to get clear answers, and don’t let anyone make you feel “stupid” for noticing what you’ve noticed.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical or relationship advice.
