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Hello Aunt Vadge,
My boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. It was my first time and I was nervous but excited. When he put his penis in, it hurt a lot and there was a bit of blood. He didn’t go all the way in – only the tip, less than an inch – and then I asked him to stop, because I felt insecure about losing my virginity. He used a condom and didn’t cum. My period is now five days late and I don’t know what to do. We had sex on 8 January, my period was due on 14 January, and today is the 19th. I’ve got pain in my legs and lower abdomen. I don’t think there’s any chance of pregnancy, but I’m very tense.
Yours,
Tense
United Arab Emirates
Dear Tense,
There’s almost zero chance of you being pregnant if his penis – with a condom over it – only went in a little, and there was no semen or precum. The leg and lower-tummy aches are much more likely to be your period on its way. Get yourself a period tracker app and learn how to tell when you’re ovulating, so you know your fertile time of the month in future.
Why your period is late
Periods hardly ever follow a strict month-by-month schedule, and once you start tracking, you’ll see the time between them shifts, sometimes by quite a few days. Anything between 24 and 35 days – from the start of one period to the start of the next – is considered perfectly fine. The 28-day cycle is actually a myth; that’s just the average of everyone’s cycles, which for each of you is a bit different. Sometimes it will be 28 days.
Stress and anxiety – like the worry you’re feeling right now – can also nudge a period a few days later.
Your options if you want to act now
The risk here really is tiny, but if you’d feel better acting on it, you have options – and the sooner the better, as emergency contraception works best the earlier you take it.
One option is a dedicated morning-after pill from the pharmacy – the levonorgestrel type up to 72 hours after, the ulipristal type up to 120 hours – available over the counter in many countries. Another is our morning-after pill cheat sheet, for using regular contraceptive pills as the morning-after pill, including how many to use from someone else’s pack.
In future, having some combined oral contraceptive pills stashed is a VERY handy thing to have, for you and your friends to use as needed. Keep the cheat sheet handy, so you always know how many to take.
About the pain and blood
A bit of pain and a little blood the first time is common, usually from tension and the tissue not being relaxed or aroused enough yet. It settles. Next time, going slowly, being really turned on first, and using plenty of lube makes an enormous difference – and there’s no rush at all. Our Sex 101 guide is a gentle place to start.
Write any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
