Aunt Vadge: My boyfriend put his cummy fingers inside of me, now I have cramps

Hey Aunt Vadge,

I’ve been really terrified lately. I’m 15 and my boyfriend and I recently had oral sex. He eventually ejactulated on his hand and proceeded to give me oral. After a good 5-7 minutes he decides to put his finger in me with the hand he came on.

I’ve been having cramps since the day after this all happened, and my lower back has been absolutely killing me. I’m praying I’m not pregnant or anything, but I’ve been looking up symptoms and am not so sure. Please help!!!

Sincerely,
H E L P!
Age: 15

Country: PA, United States of America

Dear H E L P,

You are unlikely to be pregnant, but there are a few things to think about in terms of whether you could possibly be pregnant or not.

  1. Were you ovulating or near to ovulating? How to figure out when you ovulate
  2. What did your boyfriend do with his semen after he ejaculated into his hand? Did he wipe it on a sheet or his clothes? It seems unlikely that your boyfriend would have kept his semen safe in his hand for 5-7 minutes. Sperm dies in the open air after a couple of minutes, and dries quite quickly. Ask him.
  3. Check out how you can and can’t get pregnant for some information on sperm and eggs.

Because you have to be both ovulating and have live sperm inside your vagina at the same time to get pregnant, the chances of this are low unless the above two points are true. I’d be surprised to hear that your boyfriend kept his handful of semen the whole time, and out of a full menstrual cycle, you may not have been ovulating.

But why the cramping?

It’s possible that you are possibly near to your period – cramping and a sore back can often come around the same time as your period. Otherwise, it’s possible that your pelvic floor muscles have been tightened during your rendezvous, and this has caused the sore back and cramping. Or, you may in fact also be ovulating!

You won’t know if you are pregnant usually until your next period is skipped, so make sure you are charting your cycles so next time you are worried, you know where you’re at. This helps put your mind at ease. Learning when you ovulate is one of the best things you’ll ever learn, so start tracking your body! It helps immensely in times like this. First you’ll know when to keep semen completely away from your vagina, and secondly, you’ll know if you were at risk or not.

If the cramping and sore back continue, I suggest you see your doctor. Fingering doesn’t typically cause those symptoms, but if your boyfriend has long fingers/has damaged your cervix during the fingering, it could cause some pains as it heals. You may need to be examined if the pains continue to see what the cause is. It should resolve, however, and you’ll be just fine. Lesson learnt for next time!

Best,
Aunt Vadge

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

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