Dear Aunty Vadge,
I started masturbating in grade 6 because I was curious about my body and I began masturbating at least once every two weeks for the pleasure.
A couple of months ago, I started to finger myself (before I was just playing with my clitoris) and up until recently I was using one finger but the other day I decided to try two fingers.
When I was masturbating my vagina started to really burn around the edges. I looked at it using a mirror and I believe I ripped my hymen.
I am not sure that is the correct term for what part of my vagina I’m referring to but the place that got ripped it the outermost part of my vagina that surrounds pretty much everything else.
I am scared to tell my mom because I fear she will get mad at me for doing such an inappropriate thing at my age. So I have turned to you for help.
Best,
J.
Age: 13
Country: United States
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Dear J,
Masturbating is never inappropriate, at any age! I’m sure that would be an uncomfortable conversation with your mum, though! You’ve come to the right place.
When you first start putting things into your vagina, you can easily hurt yourself. The beauty of the trial and error is that you learn what you can and can’t do to yourself.
When you’re fingering yourself, make sure to use some sort of lubricant, as it makes it a little smoother.
You may have ripped your hymen, but if you’ve already been fingering yourself, it is unlikely that much of it was left anyway.
If it was part of your hymen still, then you’ve done a good thing by opening your vaginal entrance up, and you shouldn’t have too many issues in future.
We have a guide on how to stretch out your hymen, so next time you fancy it, try it and see how you go.
Your vagina and vulva will heal up without issue, so don’t worry about that. If you start to feel any more pain or you start to bleed more, then you need to consider telling your mum so that you can get some medical help. This is unlikely to occur, since vulvar tissue heals very quickly and without scarring. The hymen will move to the side of your vaginal entrance and disappear over time.
You’ll be just fine! Write back anytime you get stuck or have any further questions. We’re here to help with these tricky questions.
Best,
Aunt Vadge
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