Aunt Vadge: naked grinding with precum – can I be pregnant?

Hi there Aunt Vadge, 

On the 4th of May my boyfriend and I did naked grinding. There was no penetration and he did not ejaculate near me, but there was however some precum on the tip of his penis which I am not sure if that came into contact with my vagina or not (like I said he did not enter but I’m not sure if could get inside still??).

I got my period at the right time and I took a pregnancy test 17 days later that tested negative. I’m still freaked out and I just need reassurance that I’m being irrational. I’ve had my period at the right time both months since then and I am also on the birth control pill.

Sincerely,
Grinder

Age: 20
Country: South Africa

Hi there Grinder,

It’s really valuable to learn how you do and don’t get pregnant, so that you can rest assured when you are safe to naked grind and even have sex without a condom, should that be an option for you both, and when to rubber up or find alternatives.

You should start using a period tracker app that will tell you around which time you are probably ovulating, and this will tell you (more or less) when you can get pregnant, and tell you when you can expect your next period. This is good information when you are considering whether an experience was during your fertile phase or not. If it wasn’t, then you’re good to go. If it was, you may need to take a test.

You need to have faith in the tools that are available to you, with one being your period – if you get your period, you aren’t pregnant, plain and simple. The next is your birth control pills – if you are taking them correctly, it is extremely unlikely that you could get pregnant even with full penetrative semen-in-vagina sex. Finally, if you took a test more than two weeks after the possible incident, and it was negative, you can believe it.

You are not pregnant! And yes you are being a tiny bit irrational, but this fear is not a pointless fear. It is a deep and purposeful fear, since getting pregnant means one of just a few choices present themselves to you, and it can feel complicated and very, very stressful.

You are on the pill, so are protecting yourself from an unwanted pregnancy, but just make sure you take the pill properly, and if you miss a day, make sure to use condoms for the next seven days – a missed pill can trigger ovulation, and result in pregnancy very unexpectedly.

Learn about your cycle, and how the pill interferes with your normal hormonal cycles – you won’t ovulate if you are on the pill, and therefore there is no meaningful chance of pregnancy. The pill – like everything – is not 100 per cent, but it’s pretty good, so you can reasonably rely on it without panicking every time you have sex or naked grind or whatever.

Write anytime!

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.