Aunt Vadge: Unusual bleeding after dry, cracked fingering

Dear Aunt Vadge,

I have been bleeding now for two days, and every time I use the bathroom, a clump of blood comes out. I felt discomfort after a guy fingered me, and I checked, but I could not see if the blood is only when I wipe and after using the bathroom. 

What could happen if a clump of blood stays in instead of coming out? 

This was my first time, and he had very dry and cracked fingers. I finished my period on November 28, and I am always regular. 

After the fingering on December 2nd I started to bleed, stage by stage, with some drops and clots of blood coming out. This has been happening for three days, mostly when I use the bathroom. I am 25 years old. 

What damage could I have? Will there be any consequences? Could I have gotten pregnant? 

When he had his penis on my vaginal opening, he didn’t ejaculate. 

Yours, 

Clumped

_____

Dear Clumped,

It isn’t clear if this is your first time being fingered, or if this is the first time you’ve had this type of bleeding. I’ll answer both questions.

     First time being fingered

If this was your first time having a sexual experience involving penetration with a finger or penis, it is possible, but not that likely (hymens are pretty fragile and easily torn, even in childhood) that the bleeding you are experiencing has come from your hymen being torn, and the resultant blood coming out in clumps and clots.

As you would have experienced, usually menstrual blood is more free flowing, and not clumpy or clotty like that. This indicates that the blood is coming from a flesh wound of some kind, which may be a small tear or fissure.

     First time with this type of bleeding

If this is not the first time for penetrative sex, but for the bleeding, it must be made clear that it is unusual to have bleeding after being fingered or sex, as you’d have to be doing it all wrong to make the vagina tear and bleed that much that it went on for days.

Your guy having very dry and cracked fingers may have been damaging to the vagina, so in future it might pay to try covering the finger/s in a condom or latex glove with some lubricant. There are many ways around this rough finger business.

The blood you can see just when you use the bathroom may just mean that the blood is slowly removing itself from your vagina via gravity – it can be slow. Bright red blood means a fresh wound, as bright red blood has oxygen in it. Dark red or brown blood on the other hand indicates the blood is older, and not coming directly from a vessel. What this means is you can tell if you have a bleeding wound or a healing wound.

It would be impossible to tell at this point if you are pregnant, and bleeding like that immediately after sex and fingering would not be a sign of becoming pregnant, as getting pregnant actually takes days to happen.

The blood will eventually all come out, as is the normal way of the vagina. Gravity takes care of that nicely.

     The keys to looking after your vagina here are

1. Don’t have any more sex or fingering until the bleeding has completely stopped and your vagina is not in any discomfort. Do not clean roughly or with harsh soaps, and treat it gently! Your vagina is delicate and needs care.

2. If the bleeding continues, in any way (a lot or a little) you need to see a physician for an examination, as there may be some damage that needs further attention and a proper conversation where the doctor can figure out what has gone wrong with further questioning. Further damage seems unlikely, but must be ruled out, and if the bleeding continues, you have a bigger problem on your hands that needs addressing that fingering may have aggravated, rather than caused.

3. In future, be thoughtful about what you put into your vagina. Anything rough, hard, abrasive or sharp should not be inserted for any reason, as it damages your flesh. You are the only one responsible for what goes into your vagina, so be discerning. Dry, cracked fingers don’t sound very sensual, so try the condom/glove trick, and see how you go.

4. Make sure you are properly turned on before inserting anything into the vagina, as it lubricates and swells to prevent damage. You’ll notice that when you are very turned on you can have quite rough sex play with no pain, but if you try the same when you aren’t turned on, you have a sore, raw and bruised-feeling vagina for days afterwards.

You’re the boss, Clumped! And from what you’ve told me, you seem to have a superficial flesh wound that will heal on its own without intervention, but without being presumptuous, keep your eye on it.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge