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Hello Aunt Vadge,
My boyfriend has fingered me several times and it was fine, but the last two times were very different. The second-to-last time he was very aggressive and uncomfortable, scratched me, and I started to bleed. But the last time, it wasn’t painful at all and I was very aroused – yet I still bled.
I’m confused as to why I bled this time, given how comfortable I was. Help!
M
Hello M,
This is less mysterious than it feels. The time before last, your boyfriend was rough and scratched you, which made you bleed – that part is clear. The puzzle is the last time, when you were relaxed, aroused and comfortable, and still bled.
The most likely explanation is simply that the earlier scratch hadn’t fully healed: a small graze inside takes several days to close over, and gentle fingering (or even just the movement) can reopen a not-quite-healed spot and make it bleed again, without any pain.1
So you most likely weren’t injured afresh – you just disturbed something that was still healing. There’s more on bleeding after fingering if it helps.
What to do: give the area a proper rest now – nothing inside the vagina for a week or so – to let it heal completely before any fingering or sex, and keep using lube and going gently once you do, so it doesn’t get re-grazed.
The bigger lesson from the rough time is worth holding onto too: aggressive, uncomfortable fingering is exactly how these scratches happen, so anything that hurts should stop, every time.
Now, if you find you bleed again even after it’s had a clear week or two to heal and you’ve been gentle and well-lubricated, or you bleed at other times unconnected to fingering, then it’s worth a doctor’s check – occasional bleeding like that can come from the cervix (something as harmless as a tender spot called an ectropion, for instance) and is easily looked at.
But far and away the most likely answer is a healing scratch that got reopened, and rest will sort it.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
- Astrup BS, Ravn P, Lauritsen J, Thomsen JL. Nature, frequency and duration of genital lesions after consensual sexual intercourse. Forensic Science International. 2012;219(1–3):50–56.
