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Hi Aunt Vadge,
I have had big problems for the past 3.5 years. I used a shea butter petroleum jelly on my vulva as a sexual lubricant 3.5 years ago and have suffered ever since.
Within hours I had stinging, inflammation and swelling, and after a few weeks it went very red, inside and out. It has had ups and downs but never fully cleared. It is painful to touch, often just from sitting.
What I have tried so far:
- My first doctor said it would pass and gave me Gynoflor, but it stung, so I stopped.
- A dermatologist prescribed an antifungal, which cleared the redness on my vulva, but I was scared to use it inside.
- A gynaecologist prescribed Daktarin cream for three months, then cortisone.
- A newer gynaecologist prescribed plain petroleum jelly and perfume-free baby oil.
- I washed with water only for 1.5 years.
- A gyno suggested a dryness gel, but my mucosa went orange and very painful.
- My UK doctor suggested bicarbonate-of-soda baths and said it was vulvodynia, which was depressing after all this time.
- I use organic pads, loose clothes, and have never used tampons.
It is ruining much of my life, and I would love a normal sexual life again. My periods went irregular from the stress or the medication but have settled. KY Jelly also irritates it, and I sometimes get small stinging reactions to facial creams. I had a baby 18 months ago by caesarean and would love more children. I am 32 and live in Europe. Any ideas would be forever appreciated.
Kind regards,
Living Desperate
Dear Living Desperate,
That sounds exhausting, and 3.5 years is a long time to be in pain and to be handed one cream after another. What you are describing – a vulva that reacted to a product and then stayed sensitive and inflamed, reacting to more and more things – fits vulvodynia sitting on top of a hypersensitive system. After this long it is easy to feel it is permanent, but ‘sensitive and reactive’ is very much something that can be worked with.
It probably was not only the cream. Already-sensitive tissue tends to find things to react to, so the moisturiser likely tipped over something that was already primed. The fact that you also react to facial creams points to a whole-body sensitivity, not just a local vulval problem.
A different way to look at it
Because you have had every antifungal, steroid and barrier cream going with no lasting result, chasing infections and surface treatments probably is not the path. Two things worth exploring with a practitioner are mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) and histamine intolerance, which can drive exactly this kind of react-to-everything picture.
The label your UK doctor gave you, vulvodynia, is not a dead end. It means the pain has become a problem in its own right and needs the sensitivity and the nervous system calmed, rather than treating an infection that is not there.
One important safety check comes first, though: a vulva that stays red and inflamed and changes with products should have conditions like lichen sclerosus, lichen planus and other erosive skin conditions actively ruled out by a vulval dermatologist or gynaecologist. They are treatable and matter to catch, so it is worth making sure that box is ticked before or alongside any root-cause work.
Where we come in
We are a vulvovaginal specialist naturopathic clinic, and this is squarely the kind of thing we work on: looking for why you are so reactive – hormones, gut, histamine, nervous-system sensitisation – and trying to dampen the reaction at the root, alongside your medical care rather than instead of it. You can book with a My Vagina vulvovaginal specialist naturopath.
Vulvodynia often has a pelvic-floor component as well. We do not do internal exams, so a pelvic-floor physiotherapist is worth adding for that piece.
Things you can start now
- Keep a detailed diary of all your symptoms, not just the vulval ones, rated out of 10, with foods, products, cycle stage, stress and the time of day. Patterns often show up that no single appointment would catch.
- Try a few days using zero products – no skincare, make-up or scented anything – and see if it eases, then reintroduce one at a time.
- Check everything that touches you: toilet paper (avoid printed or scented), laundry detergent and softener, soaps and shampoo.
- It comes and goes, which is really useful information – that variability is a clue it is being triggered by something, or is linked to your cycle.
Some women with vulvodynia also get real relief from acupuncture, herbal medicine and pain-management approaches, and a support group helps too, both for morale and for practical ideas from people living the same thing.
You have been through the wringer and you are clearly determined, which counts for a lot here. This is workable – it just needs the reactivity calmed rather than the surface chased.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information and not a substitute for personalised medical advice. Persistent vulval pain should be assessed in person by a doctor, and a pelvic-floor physiotherapist where relevant.
