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Hi Aunt Vadge,
Recently I’ve been a little too adventurous and now I’m scared I might have an STI. I had sex about two weeks ago, and afterwards had no symptoms besides the usual after-sex soreness. Two days ago I was sexually active (but did not have sex) with another person.
The day after, I had a burning sensation when peeing and my vagina was raw and sore. Today it’s itchy and painful to the touch, but the burning when I pee has gone.
Can I have an STI from the second guy even though we didn’t have sex? Or is this delayed from the first time?
Thank you for your help,
Ouch
Dear Ouch,
Straight answers to your two questions first, then what this most likely is.
Yes, you can pick up some STIs without penetrative sex. Anything spread by skin-to-skin genital contact – HPV and herpes being the main two – doesn’t need fluids or a penis going anywhere; genitals touching is enough. So the second encounter isn’t automatically in the clear just because there was no intercourse.
And on ‘delayed’: there’s no such thing as an STI that hides for years and then pounces, but infections do have incubation periods. Some show up in days, others take a week or two or longer, and a few (like HIV and syphilis) need a longer window before a test is reliable. So symptoms appearing now could relate to either encounter – the only way to actually know is to get tested.
That said, what you’re describing – raw, itchy, sore, with a bit of burning on peeing that has already settled – reads far more like simple irritation, possibly tipping into a yeast infection, than a classic STI. Friction from sex play roughs up the delicate tissue, and that soreness plus itch is very common and usually settles on its own. A true UTI doesn’t normally clear up quietly by itself, so the fact your peeing symptoms have gone suggests it was irritation rather than a full infection.
To settle the likely irritation or yeast at home: a good probiotic twice a day, or plenty of fermented foods (yoghurt, sauerkraut) to rebuild your protective bacteria, and ease off sugar for a few days if you want to (some people find cutting back helps, though the evidence for it is modest). Wee after sex or sex play, rinse with plain water only (no soap on the vulva), and let it rest. An over-the-counter yeast treatment is an option if the itch really ramps up, but you may not need it.
Now the useful, non-judgy bit: since you’ve had a couple of new partners close together, a sexual health check is a smart move – not because anything is wrong with having fun, but because knowing is easier than worrying. Sexual health clinics are used to exactly this, they’re confidential, and in many places they’re free, so cost and privacy needn’t stop you. Get a full screen now, and because of those window periods, it’s worth a repeat check a few weeks after a new partner. If you’re not already, this is also a good moment to sort reliable contraception and to use condoms during sex play as well as sex – they cut both the STI and pregnancy worry right down.
One small update on old advice you may have heard: routine ‘annual Pap smears’ are out of date. Cervical screening is now HPV-based and usually starts around 25 and runs about every 5 years – follow whatever your local programme recommends, and add STI screens on top at whatever interval fits your number of partners (every 3 to 6 months is a common rhythm for people with new or multiple partners).
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
Go get that check, and write anytime.
Love,
Aunt Vadge
