Hello Aunt Vadge,
I was diagnosed with localized vulvodynia two months ago. Me and my boyfriend were dry humping when the severe pain started, and since then my pain won’t go away.
I blame myself and him for all this pain, because I haven’t had one second without it. I felt his penis and I was still wearing my underwear.
Can his penis injure a nerve or the friction caused by dry sex cause this condition?
I read that vulvodynia may be caused by an injured nerve.
Thank you,
Injured
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Dear Injured,
Vulvodynia is one of life’s great mysteries. I am very sorry to hear you have been diagnosed with this terrible, painful condition – at the moment, there is no cure, only management of the pain, and you must go on your own journey to try to find the solution.
It is not going to be easy, but it is a job that must be done. It is most unlikely that your boyfriend’s penis has caused you nerve damage. You’d have to have done some seriously hard dry humping to get anywhere near nerve damage.
It is much more likely that there was an underlying condition that has become ‘live’ after being triggered. Stop blaming yourself and your boyfriend. This isn’t anyone’s fault.
It can be easy to shunt the blame for our pain onto the trigger, but the trigger is not the cause. If you hadn’t dry humped that day, your body would have done this perhaps next time you used a tampon, or had masturbated, or wiped yourself after urinating.
The trigger is not the important thing here, because it was more than likely going to happen anyway. If you haven’t already, check out our vulvodynia page, and see a doctor.
Best,
Aunt Vadge
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