Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hello Aunt Vadge,
I finger myself every once in a while, like literally every few months! I usually get one finger in, as more usually really hurts or literally feels impossible to go in, but today I managed to get two fingers in all the way. It felt a bit uncomfortable, but during I realised I had a little bit of light bleeding.
Did I break my hymen? Or is it a tear in my vaginal wall? I’m still a virgin and I don’t use tampons.
Thank you,
The Virgin Fingerer
Hi there,
Short version: a little light bleeding the first time two fingers go in is normal, and no, you haven’t done any damage. It usually settles on its own within a day or two.
Did I break my hymen?
Probably not, because the hymen isn’t really something that ‘breaks’. It’s a soft, stretchy fringe of tissue just inside the entrance, with a gap in it already (that’s how period blood gets out). It stretches gradually with all sorts of everyday things – fingers, tampons, sport – and a bit of that stretching can cause a tiny amount of spotting. That’s most likely what you saw. It could also be a small graze of the skin at the entrance, which is why lube helps. There’s more in our piece on the humble hymen.
Am I still a virgin?
Yes. And it’s worth knowing that the hymen can’t actually tell anyone whether someone is a virgin – it varies hugely from person to person and changes with ordinary life, which is why the World Health Organization and the UN called for an end to ‘virginity testing’ back in 2018. Virginity is a social idea, not something your body keeps score of. More on that in what being a virgin actually means.
Making it more comfortable next time
- Use lube. It cuts down on friction and little grazes, so if you do see blood you’ll know it isn’t just dry skin.
- Go slow, and only as far as feels okay. There’s no target to hit.
- Keep nails short and smooth – and make sure anyone else’s are too.
- Give it a few days to settle before trying again.
If bleeding happens every single time, or there’s pain that doesn’t ease off, that’s worth mentioning to a doctor or a sexual health clinic. But from what you’ve described, this is normal and unlikely to happen again. If penetration is often painful, our guide on pain after fingering has more.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information and not a substitute for personalised medical advice. If bleeding keeps happening or penetration is painful, a doctor or sexual health clinic can help.
