Aunt Vadge: fingering woes

Hello Aunt Vadge,

I finger myself every once in a while, like literally every few months! I usually get one finger in, as more usually really hurts or literally feel impossible to go in, but today  I managed to get two fingers in all the way. It felt bit uncomfortable, but during I realised I had a little bit of light bleeding.

Did I break my hymen? Or do you is it a tear in my vaginal wall? I’m still a virgin and I don’t use tampons. 

Thank you,
The Virgin Fingerer

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Hi Virgin Fingerer,

It is entirely possible that you have split open your hymen a bit more than it was previously and it has bled a little – hymens usually have a little hole in them, which allows your menstrual blood and other fluids to exit your body. This may be the small hole you have been able to push past to penetrate your vagina with your finger – imagine popping a small hole in a bubble-gum bubble. You may have now popped the whole thing, with more fingers.

The hymen is very close to the vaginal entrance, but varies from girl to girl. Read our article about the hymen to learn more. 

Wait a few days or a week or so for it to heal, and try again. Make sure you use lubricant of some kind so you know that any bleeding is not from your labia or inside your vagina from a nick in your skin.

Go slow, relax and feel your way around. Get a diagram and feel around for your clitoris, your urethra, your g-spot, try to find your cervix. Examine the different walls and how they feel under your fingers. This will allow you to understand better if there is some bleeding at a later stage, where it might be coming from.

When you start to ‘open up’ your vagina for business as you start your sexual adventures as a teenager, it can be uncomfortable sometimes, and it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of what feels good, what causes pain and damage, and how to go about it for maximum results. It’s pretty hard to know when you can’t see what you’re doing! This is why feeling around yourself is so important.

In future just make sure your nails are not long and sharp – nails can easily, and without your knowledge, tear your delicate vaginal and labial flesh. Also make sure anyone else who may be touching your vagina has short, smooth nails.

There are some other reasons why you may have bled, but try again and if it happens again, write back and we can discuss some other options, though it seems like you are completely normal and that it won’t happen again.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.