Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hello Aunt Vadge,
I have a question! Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, he also fingers me really hard and fast (but you know that’s how I like it). Afterwards I’d go home and pee, and when I look down, I see fleshy bits that have come out of me!
What is this? Is it bad? Should I be worried?
Yours,
Smiles
Hi there, Smiles,
First up: the most likely explanation by a mile is that those fleshy bits after sex are simply you. The bits you’re spotting are very probably your own inner labia, or little tags of tissue around the vaginal opening, looking far more prominent than usual because everything down there is swollen, flushed and pulled about after an enthusiastic session.
Vulvas and vaginas get a big rush of blood flow during sex – that’s the cushioning that makes it all feel good – so after a long or vigorous go, things can stay puffy, lumpy and a bit tentacle-ish for a while, sometimes hours, occasionally a day or two, until the swelling settles. When you then crouch down and peer at it in the cold light of the bathroom, your perfectly normal anatomy can look alarming when really it’s just doing its thing.
The inner labia in particular come in every size and shape going – some are long and frilly, some tucked away – and hard, fast fingering can tug them so they sit differently afterwards. Have a look at are these lumps my labia? and the Women’s Health Victoria Labia Library, which shows just how much normal variation there is. Little leftover tags of hymen are common too, as in this question about irregular pink tissue at the opening.
A few things will tell you which way this is going. Do the bits soften and tuck back in once the swelling goes down? Are they painless? No bleeding, no raw spots? If so, this is almost certainly your normal after-sex vulva and nothing to fret about. The next time it happens, gently see whether they retract on their own.
One properly useful tip while you’re enjoying the hard-and-fast: keep fingernails short and smooth, since the most common way to get little cuts or tags down there is a stray sharp nail. Your boyfriend (and you) might like a quick read of our fingering basics – not to slow you down, just so the fun doesn’t leave any marks.
When is it worth getting looked at? If the bits don’t go back in, bleed, hurt, or you can feel a definite firm lump or a flap of tissue that seems clearly new, have a doctor take a look. Very occasionally there’s an anatomical quirk you were born with – a vaginal septum or similar – that’s only now making itself known, and the only way to know for sure is for someone who does this for a living to examine you. That’s a hands-on check we don’t do here, so a GP or a women’s-health clinic is your spot for that.
Be gentle with yourself in the meantime, and if you do end up at the doctor, snap a quick photo of the bits when they’re out, since they have a habit of vanishing the moment you’re in the waiting room. Most likely, though, it’s nothing more sinister than a thoroughly well-loved vulva.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
The information on this website is not a substitute for your doctor or other healthcare professionals. For more information, see our Privacy Policy and Disclaimer.
164A Victoria Street, Brunswick, Victoria 3056 Australia
Sign Up to Our Newsletter
SIGN UP TO OUR NEWSLETTER
Get a $10 voucher