Aunt Vadge: how do I remove dark spots on my labia?

So Aunt Vadge, here it is…

I have dark spots in my labia minora, and I want to get rid of them. I’m a virgin and the first ones appeared when I was 13. I have a complex about it and I’d like to know if there is a way to remove them at home. 

Thanks Aunt Vadge
Spotty
Canada, Age 16

Dear Spotty,

You sound like you have some normal pigmentation changes that occur when your hormone levels rise, and your labia starts to change colour. This colour change happens to everyone, but sometimes it is darker than others.

Please go through the Labia Library and check out as many labia as possible, so you can see what the full range of labia are like – there are so many kinds.

We don’t have any way to get rid of pigmentation changes on your labia – the colour comes from within the flesh, from your insides, and is impossible to change. There may be some options using lasers, but until you have your own job and your own money, I’m pretty sure nobody is going to pay for you to get that done!

The thing that we all have to do is learn to love what we have. This could be hard for you to do, because just a few years ago, your vulva looked different. This happened to me too.

Now, while it has been hard to do (because vaginas are funny looking and we are taught to be ashamed of our bodies and sexuality), I now accept my labia for what they are because they are mine and I only get one pair.

They work well, do the job they are supposed to, and with all their multi-coloured flappiness, are what I have to ‘face’ the world with when I have sex, when I pee, when I give birth, and when I choose to run around naked.

It can be easy to hate our labia, but it’s important to realise that your body was made the way it was made inside your mother’s womb, and you can hate it all you like, but you don’t get to just cut bits off and replace it with a ‘prettier’ version.

More importantly, screw that! Your labia are unique and utterly delightful, so save the self hate for another day, and wait until some lucky guy (or girl!) get their mouth around your beautiful labia.

I bet then you won’t be so worried about what colour they are, and truly, nobody else will notice the bits that you don’t like. In fact, there is a good chance they will think those bits are lovely.

Your labia are loveable, so stick up for them.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge