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Hi Aunt Vadge,
Sorry to ask this question. Yesterday I kissed my girlfriend’s vagina in excitement, but after a few hours she was bleeding from her vagina and also in pain. Today she is bleeding too.
Is anything I did dangerous, or a problem? Please tell me, I’m so upset about this, and frightened too. Please tell me what I should do.
Sincerely,
Concerned Boyfriend
India, Age 20
__________________
Concerned Boyfriend, first of all, don’t be sorry – you can ask us anything, and I can hear how worried you are. The most likely answer here is a reassuring one.
If you used only your lips and tongue – no teeth, no sharp fingernails, nothing pushed inside – then kissing simply cannot cause the kind of bleeding you’re describing. Lips and a tongue on the vulva don’t break the skin. So you can let go of the idea that a gentle kiss did this.
It’s a worry that comes up for some people, so you’re not alone in asking. Bleeding after oral sex usually has an ordinary explanation, and there are two likely candidates here. The first is that her period arrived – periods have a habit of turning up at the least convenient moment, and a few hours after some excitement is very possible. The second is a small graze or friction tear, which can happen if a finger, a fingernail or anything else went inside while she was dry or not quite relaxed. Those little tears sting and can bleed a bit, and they usually settle on their own in a day or two.
So a few gentle questions to think through together: did you use a finger, or put anything inside? Were things rushed or a bit rough? Does she know when her period is due? The answers will usually point straight to what happened.
One part is worth taking seriously, though. She is bleeding and in pain two days running, and that is worth having looked at rather than guessed at. If the bleeding is heavy, keeps going, or the pain is bad or getting worse, she should see a doctor to be checked – that’s a hands-on assessment, which is a doctor’s job, as we don’t examine people ourselves. It’s very likely nothing serious, but she deserves to be comfortable and sure.
In the meantime, be gentle with the area – no more play until she’s healed and pain-free, and if there’s a small visible graze, keeping it clean and dry helps it mend. When you’re both ready again, our guides to sex, oral sex and fingering are worth a read, and there’s more on the little grazes and tears that can crop up.
You clearly care about her a great deal, which is lovely to see. Look after her, get her seen if the bleeding doesn’t ease, and do write back to let us know how she goes.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
