Hello Aunt Vadge,
Yesterday my boyfriend’s penis went into my vagina by mistake, not deep at all – I just felt something, and at the same moment there was lots of blood, so I thought I’d lost my virginity. But today I woke up and I’m having my period, and it’s the same blood, which hasn’t stopped. Did I lose my virginity, or is it just my period and he helped it along? I haven’t had any pain. Please respond soon, I’m so worried.
Yours,
Worried
Dear Worried,
Take a breath – the blood is almost certainly your period, especially as it carried on into today and you’ve had no pain. The timing was just a coincidence: your period was arriving anyway.
The virginity question
This is where it gets less clear-cut, because virginity isn’t really a medical thing – it’s a social idea, and a fuzzy one. It usually gets defined as ‘a penis in a vagina’, which technically happened a little, so whether it ‘counts’ is entirely up to how you think about it. Nothing physical was lost or broken, and bleeding isn’t a marker of it either.
We’ve unpacked all of this here: what being a virgin actually means, and a related letter, he put the tip in – am I still a virgin?
How this affects your vagina
A brief, shallow bit of contact with no pain won’t have harmed anything. If a partner’s penis or precum with semen ever gets near the vaginal opening without protection, that’s when pregnancy and infection become worth thinking about – so it’s a good moment to sort out contraception you’re comfortable with.
Write any time.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.

