Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Hi Aunt Vadge,
I have one problem. I am a virgin and finger myself sometimes. Afterwards my vagina becomes tight and I get back pain for a week to 10 days. I feel normal again once my period starts.
I also get the urge to pee for two or three days after. I finger myself gently and don’t hurt myself, and I don’t use any object. I don’t really know what an orgasm is, but I do feel pleasure for a second or two, and after that my back and legs feel tight.
I masturbate about once a week or once every 10 days, and I don’t go very deep. Please advise about this – is it normal?
Yours,
Tense
India, Age 28
Dear Tense,
No, that isn’t normal – sexual stimulation and orgasm are meant to leave you relaxed, not tight and sore for a week. Back pain after masturbation that hangs around for days, along with your vagina tightening up and a few days of needing to pee, most likely points to your pelvic floor muscles clenching and holding on rather than releasing once you climax.
The pelvic floor is a sling of muscles that cradles your bladder, vagina and bowel, and it’s closely tied in with your lower back and hips. When it’s overactive it can grip hard during arousal and orgasm and then be slow to let go – which can leave you achy and stiff, and can irritate the bladder enough to give you that urge to pee for a day or two afterwards.
The best person to see is a pelvic floor physiotherapist (sometimes called a women’s health or pelvic health physio). They assess exactly these muscles and can teach you how to release and relax them. If you can’t find one where you are, a good osteopath or physiotherapist who works with the lower back and hips is a reasonable next stop.
It can feel a bit awkward to bring up, but you don’t need to go into detail – ‘my pelvic floor and back tighten up and stay sore after sexual stimulation’ tells them plenty. They see this sort of thing all the time, and you are really not the only person with it.
We do come across a pelvic floor that clenches instead of relaxing, often turning up as a persistently tight-feeling vagina, uncomfortable sex or a lingering ache. So it’s worth having that side of things looked at too, especially if the tightness sticks around between times.
One thing to keep an eye on: if that urge to pee turns into burning, stinging, going constantly, or you notice any blood, that’s more likely a urinary tract infection and worth a quick doctor’s visit rather than a physio one.
If a physio can’t get to the bottom of it, or you’d like a hand with the vaginal-tightness side, do write back or book an appointment and we’ll dig in further.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
