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Hello Aunt Vadge,
Um… so, a while back I was masturbating with a shower head – one where you can adjust the spray. I was trying out different settings, one of which was a mist-like one that felt like pins and needles if you brought it close to the skin. Not knowing the trouble it could cause, I pressed it close to my clitoris. It didn’t feel bad at first.
That is, until I felt a sharp stinging and looked down to see that the little piece of skin under my clitoris (where the hood meets and spreads out to the labia) was basically split in two. It stung, and when I dabbed it, a pinkish substance came out.
In the weeks after, I read that a small tear would heal on its own, and I didn’t tell any of my aunts or my father. The pain did dull and then vanish – but the tear was still there.
I’m very scared because today I wore leggings under my jeans (it was cold and I like layers), and I think all that fabric rubbed against the tear, because now, when my underwear so much as brushes it, it stings.
I figured it would heal on its own, but I’ve never been to a gynaecologist and don’t fancy explaining something like, ‘Hey Auntie, I split the skin under my clitoris masturbating with a shower head, and it hasn’t healed in about a year.’
Finger stimulation to the clitoris doesn’t hurt, or didn’t – but if I brush against the tear, it stings. I’m deeply concerned about infection, permanent damage, and how intercourse will go if I get married one day.
Please help, I’m very frightened. If need be, I will tell one of my aunts. Better safe than sorry, right?
Sincerely,
Torn
United States
Hi Torn,
First, you did the right thing writing in, and you’re going to be okay. What you’ve described is a split at the join where your clitoral hood meets the labia – a really common place to tear, and very easy to do by accident (here’s more on clitoral hood cuts). The important part is this: it’s been about a year and it still hasn’t healed. A cut under the clitoris that won’t heal after that long does need someone to look at it in person.
Try not to be frightened about your future sex life. The vulva is tough and heals well, and even a small change to the skin there generally won’t affect how sex feels or looks. But a tear that’s stuck around this long deserves a proper check so it can finally heal up.
You said you’d tell one of your aunts if you needed to – that’s a really good idea, and ‘better safe than sorry’ is exactly the right instinct. Your aunts have vulvas too, and have almost certainly dealt with tears, births and all sorts, so this will be far less shocking to them than it feels to you. You don’t have to share any more detail than you’re comfortable with – you can simply say you’ve hurt yourself and it isn’t healing. Ask a trusted aunt to take you to a doctor, or find your local sexual health clinic (they’re usually free and confidential) and book in.
While you sort that out, give the area the best chance to heal. Keep it clean and gentle with just warm water, dab it dry, and use a little plain vegetable oil to keep the skin supple as it heals. Wear loose clothing – tight leggings and layers rubbing on it, as you found, keep reopening the cut – and give it a proper rest from masturbation and anything else that disturbs it.
See someone sooner rather than later if it starts bleeding, weeping, smelling off, or getting more painful or swollen, or if you feel unwell – those can mean it needs more than time to sort out.
You haven’t done anything wrong here, and this is very fixable once someone’s had a proper look. Write back and let me know how you get on.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
