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Hi there Aunt Vadge,
I think my vagina looks bad. I’m mixed (black and white), and my inner part has one very long labia and one medium. The very long one isn’t pink, it’s a dark colour. It’s been this way for a very long time, for three or so years. I didn’t think much about it until I actually looked at what it looks like.
I haven’t done much sexually. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind, but I’m very self-conscious about it. It looks discoloured and wrinkly. I thought it might be a yeast infection, but it’s not, because I don’t have the symptoms.
I’ve asked my mum multiple times to go to the gyno, but she says no unless I’m having sex. I’m not ready for that, and I think something is wrong because a vagina shouldn’t look like this.
Sincerely,
Labia Brown
Dear Labia Brown,
Nothing about this sounds abnormal. Through puberty, labia grow longer, get darker, and become more wrinkly, and very often one ends up longer than the other. Different colours, including dark brown or purplish tones, are completely normal too, and darker labia are especially common in people with more melanin in their skin. You don’t have an infection, and there is nothing here that needs fixing.
When I was young, I was convinced I’d done something to make my own labia longer and darker, and I felt ashamed of them for ages before I found out it was just normal. Nobody had told me. So I understand exactly why you’re worried, but you really are fine.
There is no single ‘normal’
Labia come in every length, colour and shape, and asymmetry is the rule rather than the exception. The kindest thing you can do for yourself right now is to stop calling them gross. They’re not gross, they’re just yours, and they’re doing exactly what they’re built to do.
The Labia Library has a big gallery of real labia across all ages, shapes and colours. It’s worth a look, because it’s one of the fastest ways to see just how much normal variation there is, and how far the pictures we absorb online are from real bodies.
If you want reassurance in person
You don’t need to wait for your mum, and you don’t need to be sexually active, to get someone to reassure you. A local sexual health or family-planning clinic can take a quick look and confirm everything’s healthy, and in many places they’ll see you confidentially, often free or low-cost, without a parent in the room. You don’t need a gynaecologist for this – a nurse or doctor can tell just by looking.
The one thing actually worth mentioning to them would be if a longer labia ever gets sore from twisting or catching. Colour and length on their own, though, are just variation. Your labia are unique to you, and that’s the whole point. Be kind to them.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information and not a substitute for personalised medical advice. If anything ever becomes sore, itchy or changes quickly, see a doctor or nurse who can check it in person.
