Ejaculating too quickly during sex: what to do

Author: Aunt Vadge
Qualified Naturopath | BHSc(N)

Last reviewed: July 1, 2026

Hi Aunt Vadge,

I always get more of a sexual appetite when my penis enters my lover’s vagina, and this makes me ejaculate faster. What should I do?

Best,
Hungry Guy

Dear Hungry Guy,

This is a very normal response to penis stimulation in the exciting event that it gets to enter a delicious vagina, and it’s called premature ejaculation. There are a few ways through it, but it takes time and practice to build control. Think of it as a muscle, nerve and brain training exercise.

Because we deal in vaginas, we’re not really set up to advise on penises, so your best bet is to look up a good training programme for premature ejaculation. There are lots of free resources for men online, plus forums full of men working on exactly the same thing. It’s common, and it’s very beatable with practice and patience.

Your lover will need to help you too. We all want to get to the good sex, but sometimes it doesn’t work straight away, so the job is to be patient, loving and kind with each other.

Really, this is less a problem and more a chance to learn about each other, get each other off in different ways, and become skilled lovers. Nobody is born an expert. If the goal is for you both to feel satisfied, that’s completely achievable without your penis being inside her – at least until it can cope with all the excitement.

Have a read of our guides on Sex 101, fingering basics, and how to go down on a woman, so that while you practise you’ve got other ways to get your lover off.

Sex toys are worth a look too – they do things penises simply can’t, like vibrate and bend in all sorts of useful directions.

Sorry I can’t be more help on the penis side of things – it’s not quite my area – but you’ve got this.

Write any time.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.