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Hi Aunt Vadge,
I got this problem last night when my boyfriend fingered me. He inserted four fingers, and it felt good. At first it was just fluid coming out, but when he put his fingers back in, pulling and pushing hard, there was blood all over the place.
The first time he did this I bled too, but not as much. I saw blood running down my legs, and this morning I’m using a pad — the blood is like the first day of my period. My period is due on the 11th.
I’m scared. Can you explain and comfort me?
Yours truly,
Bleeding
Age 30, Philippines
Dear Bleeding,
A lot of blood after hard, deep fingering with four fingers — enough to run down your legs and fill a pad like day one of your period — is almost always a tear from the force and depth, rather than your period, and reassuringly, even a fairly small cut in there can bleed dramatically, because the vaginal and cervical tissue is rich in blood vessels, so the amount of blood isn’t a reliable measure of how serious it is.
Pulling and pushing hard with four fingers is a great deal of stretch and friction on delicate tissue, and it can nick the vaginal wall or bump and graze the cervix, both of which bleed freely without necessarily being a big injury.
So for now, treat it as a graze that needs to settle: stop any more fingering or sex, rest, keep clean with plain water, and use pads while it eases — a graze like this usually slows and stops over a day or two.
The reasons to see a doctor promptly are if the bleeding is heavy and won’t slow, soaks a pad within an hour, keeps going beyond a couple of days, or comes with significant pain, dizziness or feeling faint — that would suggest a deeper tear that occasionally needs a stitch or two, which a clinic sorts easily.
For next time, far gentler is the whole lesson: build up slowly, don’t go hard or deep, use plenty of lube and arousal, and stop the moment you see blood. Your body was telling you that was too much, too fast.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
