Aunt Vadge: why is my vagina sore after dry humping?

Hi Aunt Vadge,

Recently, my boyfriend and I have been having dry sex [dry humping]. My vagina becomes sore afterwards and I don’t understand why. Also, it is not possible to get pregnant that way right? All our clothes stay on and we thrust, but I’ve read an article that said it’s possible to get pregnant. Please put my mind at ease.

Sincerely yours,
Concerned
Age: 19
Country/Area: USA

______

Dear Concerned,

You are definitely, 100 per cent, no doubt about it absolutely not pregnant. It is impossible to get pregnant through clothes. Read how to get pregnant for a few more clues regarding how you can and can’t get pregnant. You definitely need to be completely across when you are fertile and when you are not, and if you don’t want to care about that, to put yourself on birth control.

Your vulva is sore because rubbing dry clothes on your vulva is rubbing it a bit raw, and that is causing pain afterwards. It might feel good at the time, but the damage can still be done. Sex is supposed to be slippery for just this reason, so it’s very clear why you are sore.

To avoid getting sore from dry humping, you need to somehow protect your vulva from the intense friction of the rubbing. This might be from removing your pants and doing the rubbing with just silky underwear on – silky fabric (not lace – very abrasive) will be more slippery than even cotton.

This may be a bit further than you were wanting to go with this guy, so your other realistic option is to get less frisky, but still enjoy the dry humping. Try to wear pants without a big thick seam – jeans are terrible in my experience, because the fabric is thick and grinds. Thin silky fabrics are best.

Every one of us has to learn how to avoid sex damage, and this is your first lesson. Your vulva and vagina work best when they are slippery, and anything dry – a condom, clothes, skin – will cause damage and pain.

Your vulva will heal, but in the meantime, save the dry humping till you are fully healed.

Write anytime!

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.