Hello Aunt Vadge,
I recently lost my virginity. The first time my partner fingered me there was some pain, but not a lot, and since it still felt good I didn’t think much of it. Then he fingered me on three days in a row last week, with some pain each time.
He has long fingers and no nails, so I don’t think it’s a cut. The pain started one night when I noticed some white chunky discharge. I tried to clean it off with my fingers, and after that it really started hurting.
It doesn’t sting when I pee – it’s just irritated, I can’t sit down comfortably, it hurts to walk, and this chunky white discharge isn’t helping. Someone help!
Best,
Uncomfortable
United States
Dear Uncomfortable,
This sounds like a classic case of too much, too soon: three days of fingering in a row on tissue that’s only just started having any kind of sex is a lot of friction, and an irritated, over-worked vagina gets sore, swollen and tender exactly as you describe – sore to sit, sore to walk – even with clean hands and no cut.
On top of that, the white, chunky discharge raises a yeast infection as a likely second layer, because friction and irritation disturb the vaginal environment and let yeast bloom; thick, cottage-cheese-like discharge with soreness is the textbook picture.
So two things are probably going on at once: an over-irritated vagina that simply needs rest, and a possible yeast infection that may need treating. For the irritation, give it a proper break from all fingering and sex, wash only with plain water, wear cotton and go without underwear when you can, and let it settle.
For the discharge, an over-the-counter antifungal pessary or cream from a pharmacy treats a straightforward yeast infection well – but since this is your first time dealing with it and the soreness is significant, it’s worth a quick doctor or pharmacist check to be sure that’s what it is.
If it doesn’t improve within a few days, or you get a fever, worsening pain or unusual-smelling discharge, see a doctor, as irritation and infection occasionally need more than rest. The short version: ease right off, let it heal, and treat the yeast if that’s what it turns out to be.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.


