Hi there Aunt Vadge,
Last week my boyfriend and I had sex for five hours. My labia was bleeding, sore and stinging afterwards, unexpectedly. I didn’t think anything of it, but it didn’t stop bleeding so I went to the emergency room, and they said I had tears/sores in my vagina and on my labia. I had a swab for herpes, which came back negative, however I do have lichen planus. I went through menopause when I was about 30. The other day, we had sex for five hours again, and the same thing happened.
I’m still scared it’s herpes, even though I’ve had a blood test too. Can it be herpes?
Thanks,
Stinging
Age: 48
Country/Area: USA
_____
Dear Stinging,
I think it’s safe to say you do not have herpes. Blood tests are pretty reliable, especially when it comes to herpes, because your body creates antibodies that are easy to find. A false-negative is uncommon. And anyway, the symptoms you describe don’t really sound like herpes. It would be prudent to investigate the other causes of your cuts and tears, namely your lichen planus and the effect it has on your vagina. If it isn’t your LP, then there is a reason why your vulvar and vaginal tissue are not able to tolerate sex the way they used to.
There seems to be, at least in the short term, an easy solution to your conundrum, which is to try to have sex for less than five hours at a time! Your vagina is clearly not coping. Sex for long periods of time may cause abrasions on your vaginal walls and vulva, which may trigger your lichen planus symptoms, which you would be wise to avoid.
It may be time for you to look into atrophic vaginitis, since this can cause easy tearing. At 48, vaginal tissue isn’t as robust as it used to be. And even though you’ve been menopausal for 17 years already, some of your hormones would be changing at this age anyway. Without knowing why you went through menopause at age 30, whether it was unnatural menopause, premature, or surgical, I assume you’ve likely been on hormone replacements all this time. But these hormone treatments are not magic, and age will catch up with you. Maybe your hormones need adjusting.
This is not to say that your body shouldn’t be able to cope with five hours of sex, but I think it’s safe to say that any vagina being penetrated for five hours is going to need a rescue mission afterwards. What is clear is that your vaginal and vulvar tissue is breaking down quicker than it should or used to, but the reason for this is unclear.
You have a few options available to you, but first, I would suggest getting a proper run-down from your gynaecologist regarding what your vaginal cells are up to. If this is your lichen planus flaring up, you need to be really careful because LP can leave your vagina unusable over time. This inflammation and tissue damage could be the perfect storm. Knowing what your cells are doing, and if it is indeed LP causing soreness and bleeding, will allow you to treat your vagina with kindness and care, and start treatment, should you need it. If it’s not LP, then understanding what it is would be helpful – it’s not herpes or an STI, but something is going on, and a gynaecologist will help you find out what that is.
Write anytime.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
References1
- 1.Singh N, Ghatage P. Etiology, Clinical Features, and Diagnosis of Vulvar Lichen Sclerosus: A Scoping Review. Obstetrics and Gynecology International. Published online April 21, 2020:1-8. doi:10.1155/2020/7480754
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