Aunt Vadge: my vagina is sore and itchy after a rough fingering

Hi Aunt Vadge,
Yesterday I had a guy over and things escalated to fingering. We didn’t have sex because I won’t give sex unless we’re dating, however he did finger me and sometimes he went too hard. I would say ‘ouch’ and he would stop.

I’m not a virgin, but I’m still new to the whole sex thing, so I’m not all that experienced. The day after I was fingered, my vagina kinda felt sore and a little sensitive and itchy.

Is that normal? We didn’t have sex or anything. But I want to make sure it’s all good. Please help! Thank you. 

Best,
Newbie

Age: 19
Country: United States of America

Dear Newbie,

It sounds like the guy has hurt your vulva and vagina with his fingers. Don’t worry – you’ll be fine. Just be nice to your vagina and leave it alone for a while. Your guy and you could probably use a bit of guidance on how and how not to finger, which you can find in Fingering Basics.

Instructions for healing fingering wounds

What can happen is that if you are not properly turned on (and even if you are), fingernails can scrape the inside of your vagina, removing the top layer of cells. This can end up feeling a little like shaving rash – a bit sore, a bit raw. This can result in itching and soreness as your vagina and vulva heal. It’s nothing to worry about, but technique becomes more important than ever when you start getting into sex.

Part of being more experienced is teaching a guy how to use his hands better, instead of just letting him go for it. Remember, he has no idea what he’s doing either, no matter what he says! You should never walk away from a fingering sore, bleeding or even itchy.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge