Hi Aunt Vadge!
So today my girlfriend and I were having phone sex and this is the first time I have ever fingered myself and actually inserted my finger inside my vagina… honestly I didn’t know what I was doing, I only went in and out for like a minute. I went to pee maybe five minutes after it happened, and when I wiped myself I noticed blood, but not too much blood. I’m still worried however. I didn’t really feel any pain, but now I feel slight discomfort. Not too much though. Anyways thank you in advance!
Hi there Learner Driver,
Don’t worry about a little bit of blood the first time you finger yourself – it may have been part of your hymen that bled a little, or a hymenal remnant that got caught on a fingernail. If it happens again, however, then it might be time to do a little investigating and see what’s going on.
To investigate, you are going to need to do a little fiddling around with your vagina to see what’s inside, what it feels like, and what is going on down there. Your vagina and vulva are a whole new world that you need to get to know, which takes time and practice. Fingering yourself is the very best way to get to know your vagina, but you don’t have to be turned on to start seeing what your body is made of.
Get yourself a hand mirror, some coconut oil (or another nice-smelling oil, but not essential oils) and a torch, lock the door, and start having a good old look and poke around. Coat your vulva in the oil, make sure your fingernails are trimmed (not scratches!) and feel around. First, feel your labia – the inner and outer – and look at them in the mirror. If you aren’t sure what you are looking at, check out vag basics for diagrams, and then find each part on the diagram. Knowing what the names of everything is can be really helpful in the future, especially if you feel pains or bleeding, which you no doubt will! It happens to all of us until we get the hang of sex and fingers and toys and mouths, plus then all the accidents that sometimes happen.
Identify your clitoris, inner and outer labia, vestibule, if you can your urethra (though it can look so much like the other skin it’s hard to find – so check next time you pee where your pee comes out), your perineum, and then, when you are ready, start to venture inside your vagina.
Try by putting – again – just one finger slowly and gently into your vagina. Go up to one knuckle, and wiggle your finger to see what the walls of your vagina feel like. Go as far in as you feel comfortable doing. If you happen to come across anything that is blocking your path into your vagina, try to see what it is. Is it solid? Is it flexible? Does it hurt? Remember that the angle of your vagina is sort of up and backwards. If you use tampons, you’ll be across this angle, but if you use pads, you may not know.
If you have successfully used tampons, then it’s likely you have just hurt yourself a little bit when you fingered yourself. If you weren’t turned on, it’s much easier to damage yourself by mistake. When you are turned on, your vulva and vagina swells up with blood very much like a guy’s penis does – women need to get a ‘boner’ just like men do, before any kind of sex feels good, including touching yourself.
Learning how to masturbate can be a funny time, since you have no idea how to make yourself feel good, so just play around with yourself as often as you can! You’ll figure it out eventually.
If you do happen to come across a blockage of some kind, it could be your hymen or bits of it still hanging around, or it could be an anatomical abnormality, like a structure, inside your vagina – this is called a vaginal septum, and can be horizontal or vertical (transverse or longitudinal). These can be quickly and easily removed by your doctor.
Other anatomical abnormalities may be more complex (like a short vagina), but until you play around and see what’s in there, there is absolutely no point in worrying about this. You are very likely completely normal. If you feel like there is a blockage, make an appointment with your family doctor and ask to be examined. It will quickly become clear what is going on, and you will be referred on if necessary. If it’s your hymen, then there are instructions at the bottom of the hymen article on how to stretch your hymen out so it is not uncomfortable to put things into your vagina.
Otherwise, happy playing!