Something else? Ask Aunt Vadge – bottom left of your screen!
Dear Aunt Vadge,
My boyfriend fingered me a while ago and it didn’t hurt until he put two fingers in. I’m a virgin. Later, masturbating, I got two fingers in fine – but when I tried again recently, it hurt. Why? Also, sometimes when I’m fingering myself, what I feel around my fingers is so… strange. Other times I don’t feel that. Should I worry?
Yours sincerely,
Just a girl
Slovakia
Dear Just a Girl,
The very thing that’s worrying you is what tells me you’re completely normal. If it varies – two fingers fine one day, sore the next – that points away from any fixed problem, because a structural thing would feel the same every single time. Something that comes and goes is almost always down to how aroused you are, and how well you know your own body yet.
When you’re properly turned on, everything relaxes, gets wetter and makes more room, so two fingers slip in comfortably. When you’re a bit less aroused – even if you’re enjoying yourself – the same two fingers meet tighter, drier tissue, and it stings.
So the difference between your good days and your ouch days is mostly how warmed-up you were, plus little things like fingernails, angle and lube. Your cycle plays a part too; you’re more sensitive at some points of the month than others.
And that ‘strange’ feeling around your fingers? That’s just you meeting your own insides for the first time, and they’re more textured than people expect.
The walls are ridged, the upper wall is firm and bumpy where the inner clitoris and g-spot sit, and right at the top you can feel your cervix – a firm little round bump, a bit like the tip of your nose.
Whether you bump into any of that depends on the angle and how far you reach, which is exactly why it feels odd some times and not others.
So no, you don’t need a doctor for this – just get a bit more aroused before you go in, use some lube, keep your nails short, and explore gently.
The only time I’d suggest getting it checked is if penetration ever becomes completely impossible or painful no matter how relaxed and aroused you are, in which case it’d be worth ruling out something like a vaginal septum – uncommon, and easily fixed.
But you’ve managed two fingers happily more than once, so I doubt that’s you. You’re just getting to know your own body, which is a lovely thing to be doing.
There’s more on whether pain and bleeding after fingering is normal.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
