Understanding Vaginal Discomfort During Fingering

Dear Aunt Vadge,

My boyfriend fingered me a while ago and it didn’t hurt until he put two fingers in me. I didn’t think much of it, because I’m a virgin.

However not that long ago as I masturbated, I managed to put 2 fingers in me and it didn’t hurt. Now when I tried it, it hurt again. Why did this happen?

Also sometimes I feel weird when I’m fingering myself because what I feel around my fingers are so… strange. Last time when I put two fingers in me, I didn’t feel like that, but there are times when I do. Should I worry about that?

I’m looking forward to your answer.

Yours sincerely,
Just a girl
Age: 17
Country: Slovakia
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Dear Just a Girl,

You may have a technique/arousal issue going on, which could include long nails, too many fingers, or you are not properly turned on before attempting the fingering. This can take a bit of detective work to discover, but since it happens sometimes when you masturbate – and you only ever do what feels good when you masturbate – it could be something structurally that is happening in your vagina.

You may have internal structures (an anatomical abnormality) that could cause strange feelings and pain when you finger yourself, and may only appear sometimes. The main one of these would be a longitudinal or horizontal septum. These structures are sometimes left over from when your body was growing in the womb, and the two halves of you separated to build your left and right sides, but left a connection in the centre of your body. They are easily fixed at the doctor’s with a small surgery.

The only way to find out for sure is to go to the doctor or your local sexual health clinic and have a pelvic examination. This might seem scary, but if your vagina is normal, then it means you have a technique problem. The difference is quite significant, since if you need to learn more about sex and fingering, then that’s one thing, but if you have something else preventing/impeding penetration, then you should know now rather than later.

You and your boyfriend can learn about fingering here, in case it is technique.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge